Allowing yesterday’s post to serve as a segue, today we’re talking about the value of words as they relate to self-esteem:

Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person (Colossians 4:6).

Having grown up with ADD and depression that wasn’t diagnosed until far into adulthood, I know about low self-esteem! ADDers usually bear the hallmark traits of poor social skills like interrupting, not accurately reading social cues (like when to shut up!!), and being oblivious to the pain their remarks can cause others.

Because I still bear the emotional scars from my middle elementary grade daily torture (beatings on the school bus, in the yard, being taunted and bullied … you get the picture …) I am very sensitive, now as an adult, to the weight words can carry.

As someone adopting older children, I am aware that they will come with some baggage. It’s my hope that our home will be a haven for them to process, explore, discuss, or completely tune out whatever it is they need (and I’m sure there will be periods of time where they alternate between all of the above!).

As parents, sometimes we’re tired, busy, frustrated, diverted … (insert your issue here …) and not really listening to what our children are saying. We respond out of habit, out of anger, or just sheer tiredness. But we need to remember our words have the power to hurt or heal; they can be sour or sweet; and they can make the difference in how a child views himself. This is true with any child, but with the adopted child, who may have baggage, low self-esteem, or other issues, it’s crucial to remember.

… Sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us (Titus 2:8).

She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Proverbs 31:26)