When you bring your adopted child home, the previous months beforehand are much like a traditional birth - a flurry of activity, with little time for rest or sleep. Now that you are home with your child, sleep almost seems like an out-of-reach possibility!

With the demands of new parenthood upon you (whether this is your first, last or in-between child), thoughts of caring for yourself seem selfish. After all, isn’t this what you signed on for when you decided to have children?

Adoptive parents are especially cursed with this type of thinking because we guilt-trip ourselves with what life must have been like for our new child. We think, “oh the poor thing .. she was abused/he was in a cold, sterile foreign orphanage” … yada, yada, yada. So, even thinking about recharging our own batteries is waaaaaay down the list of priorities!

Pre-motherhood, I I managed a department for a child care social services agency. One of the boards I sat on was one dedicated to improving the lives of caregivers. I mention this, because one of the findings shared with me was how the quality of life for the caregiver is inextricably linked with that of the child in care.

What that means in layman’s terms is, if you are burned out, you really aren’t providing the level of parenting you desired when you decided to adopt. I fall into that guilt-trap thinking, too. How can I take time for myself when my children need me? But, it’s not just a warm body that’s needed. They need your focus, your attention, and your “being in the moment” with them. To achieve that level of parenting, by necessity, means you have to make some regular time for yourself to recharge. This is even more crucial if you are parenting a child with special challenges, whether they are physical or behavioral.

Next we’ll look at how you can accomplish this …