And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Many times here at AdoptionBlogs.com we talk about the challenges associated with parenting children who have special needs. But what happens when the parent is the one who has special needs?

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Education: If your child were the one with special needs, you would run down every source you could to find out more about that condition or disorder. So it is when the parent has a special health concern. Make sure your children understand, in very child appropriate terminology, just what your condition is, what it does to you, and what is necessary to treat it. If possible, find any kid-friendly books about your particular condition, or general books that discuss when a parent is sick. If you use special equipment, let your child see it and explain what it does. You will also want to explain that it is not a toy and is not to be touched or used unless given permission and under supervision.

Reassure: If the condition is something that is not terminal, make sure your children clearly understand this, since often their biggest fears are that something will “happen” to Mommy or Daddy.

Emergencies: Make sure children know what to do in case of an emergency. Important numbers should be on speed-dial, stored in a cell phone, or a place accessible by the children. If you have medication to be used in certain situations, make sure an older, responsible child can get it for you, if you are incapacitated, or that a trusted adult can be summonsed who can get it for you. Further, if you have an “action plan” for emergencies, make sure the children have a basic understanding of it. All children should be able to dial 9-1-1 and instructed to do so if you are non-responsive. Having the occasional drill (just as you would for fire or natural disaster) is helpful. Further, getting a medical ID bracelet or some other insignia will help medical personnel to assist you quickly in an emergency and cut down on the need for your children to give information on your behalf.

Model appropriate language: Just as there is with adoption language, there is appropriate language for persons with special needs. I have never referred to my son with Type 1 diabetes as a “diabetic.” Most communities with people with disabilities will tell you that the focus should be on the person first and the disability second.

Though my focus has been on physical disabilities, these tenants hold true of other types of disabilities, as well. Further, they can be applied to other family members such as grandparents, and other extended family.