God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able (I Corinthians 10:13; NASB).

In our household, we cover the gamut when it comes to special conditions. We have ADD, PTSD, Type 1 diabetes, Type 2 diabetes, anemia, spherocytosis, epilepsy…and those are just the ones I can whip up off the top of my head! In a previous post I’ve discussed the topic of parents with special needs. Today, I want to focus on siblings of children with special needs.

I remember the early days right after the adoption of our two youngest, when my daughter still had rages, my oldest, who heretofore had been a pretty even-keeled only child, really had a difficult time hearing his sister’s diatribes. We sought out some resources (some of which I have included below).

The sibling relationship is an interesting one! Sometimes they completely empathize with each other, as my two youngest do with my oldest’s Type 1 diabetes. With this new diagnosis of epilepsy, I’ve seen my other two come running to check on their oldest brother at any little sound they hear. Other times, I’ve noticed my daughter get whiny or clingy, or she will begin cataloging her own physical complaints (“my throat hurts,” “I bumped my toe and I have an owie,” etc.). My oldest son and my daughter both take meds. My oldest has a medical alert bracelet, and my daughter will be getting one, so my youngest son wants a “watch” (his term for the bracelet), and has even fallen out over it. When they take their meds, he will sometimes mention he has a cough and needs a cough drop, and the timing clearly indicates he wants attention as well.

My kids know about as much as anyone can about their own condition, and I try to give them an understanding of what their sibs are going through with their conditions. Due to child care issues, the boys usually come with me to my daughter’s therapy appointments, though usually they sit in the waiting room with me. They gain a little understanding, as well as being there to support their sister.

You can also consult with your children’s librarian about books that explain different medical conditions. Your medical caregiver may know of some as well. Foundations and organizations focused around a specialized condition may have resources on their website.

Here are some additional resources to try:

Sibshops (brothers and sisters of people who have special health, developmental, or mental health concerns)

Opportunities for Siblings

When Special Needs Spark Sibling Rivalry

Siblings of Kids With Special Needs (includes a listing of books in addition to other resources)

Photo credit: Marie Stroughter