We’ve all heard of postpartum depression, which Dr. Mark Lerner says “may be caused by significant physiological and hormonal changes.”


Post-adoption depression, on the other hand, “focuses on the feelings of sadness that are experienced after the attainment of a long-term goal that has required time, money, effort, emotional strain and patience.” The symptoms can range from generally feeling sad to extreme despair.

According to an informal survey of parents in the Eastern European Adoption Coalition, three-quarters of those who experienced post-adoption depression said their symptoms lasted from two months to more than a year.

You may wonder: Why would a parent feel depressed after she’s just adopted a child?

In an article for adoption.com, Dr. Lerner explains the onset of post-adoption depression as a complex continuum of “before, during, and after” stressors that adoptive parents face.

Once a parent’s long-term goal of adopting a child has been achieved, the door opens to “seemingly insensitive questions from others about infertility and prior losses.” The adoptive parents, who thought they had put these issues to rest before they began the adoptive process, now re-experience many of the same stressors as they did pre-adoption.

Most parents are taken completely by surprise when post-adoption depression hits, and most don’t admit the feelings to anyone. They may mentally wrestle: “I chose this route to parenthood. I expended a tremendous amount of effort to adopt my child. Do I have any right to be feeling less than ecstatic?”

A recent New York Times article by Laurie Tarkan relates the story of a single mom who adopted her daughter from China five years ago. Even though the mom took three months off of work when her daughter first arrived home, the new mother felt anxious, isolated, overwhelmed and short-tempered when she had assumed she’s be feeling the same delirious sense of euphoria that overcame her when she first met her daughter. The mom explains how she spent a lot of time taking her daughter to the part for relief and social contact (I suspect she meant social contact for herself, in addition to her daughter).

The journey to adoption and after adoption may be accompanied by numerous disappointments and medical concerns for the child. “And, the post-adoption experience is often marked by tremendous life changes, new responsibilities and a future marked by uncertainty and fear,” writes Dr. Lerner.

To decrease post-adoption depression, Dr. Lerner recommends educating prospective parents before they begin the adoption process. Parents need to be aware of the existence of post-adoption depression and to understand that a new parent’s conflicted feelings are a normal response “to a very stressful, multifaceted experience.”

Also, if a prospective parent is already prone to feelings of depression, his or her adoption caseworker needs to be made aware of it so that the parent can be encouraged to receive appropriate counseling or to join a support group.