I’ve been blathering about my opinions regarding open adoption for days on end. Thought I’d take a breather today and provide some information about it from an article by Rich Mintzer in Achieving Families magazine (formerly Infertility Times), May 2005.

Mintzer writes:

In domestic adoptions, it is very common for adoptive and birth parents to meet in person prior to the birth of the child. Does this meeting constitute open adoption?

No.

At this stage of the process, there is no adoption, only the potential for an adoption plan to be created. Such a preliminary meting can prove beneficial to all those involved and alleviate the concerns of two sides of the triad who are working together for the best interest of the third side, the unborn child.

However, until the relinquishment papers are signed, which cannot occur until the child is born, there is no adoption, open or closed.

He defines open adoption as follows:
If direct contact is continued between birth and adoptive parents (not through an agency or attorney) then you have what is typically referred to as an open adoption.

Mintzer makes a good point about the uniqueness of each adoption situation, explaining that you can’t judge all adoptions by one or two scenarios. After all, he writes, “There are a minimum of four people directly involved n any adoption triad—two birthparents, at least one adoptive parent and a child, each of whom have unique characteristics, genetic traits and distinctive personalities.”

Mintzer interviewed Brenda Romanchik (birth mother and executive director of Insight: Open Adoption Resources and Support). She stresses the importance of involving the child in open adoption.

Children in open adoption need to know that they have access to their birth parent(s) if they wish it; they also need to know that their adoptive parents will not force them to have contact.

I like a particular term Mintzer uses in his article. He refers to birth and adoptive families moving forward with their lives. That word has such different connotations than moving on. To me, moving on implies a sense of putting the event behind you—of putting it out of your mind. In open adoption, birth and adoptive families don’t move on; they move forward.

More thoughts on Mintzer’s article in the next post.

Other posts in this series:

Part 1: Maintaining Your Open Adoption Communication Agreement

Part 2: Problems That Arise Between Birth/Adoptive Parents in Open Adoption

Part 3: The Adoption Power Shift


Part 4: Three Ways to Develop Healthy Relationships in Open Adoption

Part 5: Why Do Birth Contacts Cut Off Contact in Open Adoption?

Part 6: Open Adoption: What Would Jesus Say?