My two sons are very different in a couple of profound ways: 1) they are not related biologically, and 2) they were born 4.5 years apart. Beyond that, they have uncanny similarities:

Appearance: When we first began the adoption journey, the social worker sent us pictures of the children who would eventually become our son and daughter. The day the e-mail came, my husband was at work, but my oldest son and I sat at the computer as the picture downloaded and began to fill our computer screen. I was floored! The children looked so much like our family, it was unreal. The little boy was a carbon copy of my oldest at that age. I whipped off an e-mail to the social worker with our pictures, and she, too, could not get over the remarkable resemblance.

Emotions: My oldest has always been a sensitive sort. As a toddler or preschooler, he would hear a song, and it would make him sentimental and he would cry, “in the happy way.” He felt losses acutely, and happiness just as strongly. He got attached to things both animate and inanimate. We had to take pictures of things he saw, or created, because he loved them so. Often, as we left a place or passed by a special “landmark,” we’d hear, “Hi, [name of landmark], I love you, you’ll always be part of our family.” If I am not mistaken, this was the very first of the things my youngest picked up from his brother, and now all of the kids do this. What my youngest did not pick up from my oldest, is this same sensitive pre-disposition. One night, shortly after the kids arrived, we heard crying from my youngest son’s room. He said it was the song. Upon further questioning, it wasn’t that he didn’t like the song, but just the song “made” him cry. Shades of my oldest all over!

Prayer life: This is the one that gets my husband and I every time! When my oldest was around 4 or 5, he would say the same thing over and over and over in his prayers (yeah, we even had to trot out the “vain repetition” speech!). “He would say things like, “Thank you for the things that we do, and thank you for the things that we do, thank you for the things that you gave to us, and for the things that we do…” You get the idea! Enter my youngest, who could not possibly have known this. By the time he heard my oldest say prayers, he was well past this stage. What does my youngest say in prayer? “Heavenly Father, pray that you help us all to do good, help us all to do good, and help us all to do fine.” Incredible, isn’t it?

The boys love each other fiercely. My oldest will sometimes cry just thinking about being away from his sibs. From the moment he wakes up, until he goes to bed, my youngest wants to play with his brother, or make him laugh with some antic or goofy story. They are devoted brothers and playmates. I cannot imagine two “blood” brothers who are closer, yet these two have only known each other slightly over a year. I can’t wait to see how their relationship deepens and expands as they continue to grow older.

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