The last few days have seen a remarkable change for the better in all of my children:

We’ve embarked on a series of tweaks and adjustments with my daughter. Her insomnia, enuresis, encopresis and other issues due to her Post Traumatic Stress Disorder diagnosis led us to try various techniques with her to alleviate her stress and ours. We may have stumbled upon the “right” combination of ideas, or, as her symptoms are sometimes cyclical in nature, we’re just experiencing a “lull.”

As mentioned in a previous post, we pulled the plug on the training pants. Further, we’re trying to respond to her personal body clock. We’ve eliminated the afternoon naps, set her bedtime back by half an hour, and spend a few minutes of quiet time with her in her room, before bedtime. Now when she goes to bed, she generally will fall asleep right away and stay asleep. Except last night. I was up checking my oldest son’s blood sugar, and there was my daughter coming out of her room to go to the bathroom!

She told me this morning that as she lay in her bed last night, she thought about how toasty she was and how she wanted to stay there, but then she thought she should *try* to go to the bathroom. Her brothers heaped tons of praise on her at breakfast, as did I!

Further, she’s caught herself a few times trying to boss her younger brother around. She’s gotten into a few skirmishes with her older brother (partly due to her bossiness, and partly due to his), but has managed to use her words to work it out.

Her older brother is learning a bit about bossiness, too. After little petty disputes for the umpteenth time today – and it wasn’t even noon! - I was already on edge. Then my older son spilled the beans about something he wasn’t supposed to (related to surprise for one of the children). I printed out several copies of a couple of “kid-friendly” versions of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 for him to write out over and over. We talked about each of the characteristics and how we should be able to plug our names in as a substitute for love (“Marie is patient…Marie is kind…”). Not that we will ever be perfect, but we need to exemplify love.

Love does not give up. Love is kind. Love is not jealous. Love does not put itself up as being important. Love has no pride. Love does not do the wrong thing. Love never thinks of itself. Love does not get angry. Love does not remember the suffering that comes from being hurt by someone. Love is not happy with sin. Love is happy with the truth. Love takes everything that comes without giving up. Love believes all things. Love hopes for all things. Love keeps on in all things. Love never comes to an end (1 Corinthians 4:4-8 - New Life Version).

He appeared genuinely affected and convicted. He’s been talking a lot lately about being baptized and committing his life to Christ, so this was a good opportunity to talk about why he felt so bad about his bossiness. We talked about how God gives us a conscience to let us know when we’re making choices that are not pleasing to Him.

He prayed and apologized to God and asked God to help him make better choices. He apologized to his brother and sister, and, of his own volition, chose to “make restitution” by giving them some of his toys.

My youngest is just that – young. He doesn’t always understand why he just can’t do what he wants whenever he wants! Over the short time he has been with us, he’s had issues with hitting, biting, destroying his toys, lying and tantrums.

I try to use “code words” with my children to help them verbalize various situations. At church services, our code word is, “Focus.” When the kids are “fussing” at each other and reach an impasse, we chant, “Bora! Bora! Bora!” (erase in Spanish), and start over as though the infraction had never occurred, just as God forgets (Is. 43:25). At meal times and when we’re out with company it’s, “fancy manners.” With inappropriate behavior, we say, “Make better choices.” So, lately, my youngest’s speech has been peppered with talk about “better choices.” He’s been proud of himself for not tearing up his toys, and is more easily coaxed out of falling into a tantrum. Case in point: Today we were out and about due to his sister’s therapist appointment. He was overly tired, as he still naps, but stubbornly refuses to admit he needs them! When we got home, he began to whine about “quiet time.” Before he could devolve into a tantrum, I reminded him about his cool new superhero comforter on his bed, and off he scampered happily to his room!

It’s been great to see my children grow in grace, spiritually, as Jesus did, when it was said of Him:

And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. (Luke 2:52, NKJV)