On a recent episode of Adoption Stories, they profiled a family pursuing an international adoption. As international adoptions can take some time, the child was temporarily placed with a foster family. Though you were so happy to see this beautiful child adopted by a loving family, it was equally heartbreaking to see the devastation the foster mother felt as she said her goodbyes.

As a child, I was forbidden to watch Lassie. Sounds crazy, I know! But I couldn’t take the (faux) peril the animals often found themselves in. I was such a sensitive child and just loved all of those little creatures.

Then, there was the time my (very embarrassed) mother had to drag me from the theater showing Bambi. As she hauled me up the aisle, I kept screaming to the screen, “Run, Bambi! Run!”

Or, in my early 20’s when it took my mother and I almost four hours to watch I Remember Mama due to the liberal crying breaks I needed for Uncle Elizabeth, Uncle Kris and other moments that overwhelmed me.

I initially studied to pursue a career as a child psychologist. But I was afraid I would get attached to every little person who came into my office. I'd be the lady that needed a 20 room mansion to house all the children I had!

As I’ve discussed, my husband and I have talked about adoption for almost two decades. In that time, we've also considered fostering. But, both of us knew we didn’t have the constitution for it. We’re great with hellos, we stink at goodbyes. My son is equally sensitive. Everything becomes a member of our family. Each time we pass our old house, he has to say out loud, “We love you….we miss you … you’ll always be a part of our family!” He says this to the clock tower on the corner of the nearest big intersection to us. He says it to the water tower we pass on the freeway. He says it to little creatures in our backyard.

Thus, we salute foster parents; those unsung heroes who welcome often frightened, scared little children right in the midst of trauma; who kiss the boo-boos, and wipe away the tears while masking their own. They are the people who have to wade through a lot of the most challenging behavior while kids are in crisis. These are the people who create safe havens for little beings who have witnessed the unthinkable, many times.

Yes, we hear the horror stories about some foster families. But this article is an ode to those who sacrificially take on our most precious of resources during difficult times, and then say goodbye, only to repeat the cycle again with other children in distress.

I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for them to live day to day with these beautiful children knowing that at some point they will need to say goodbye.

The children’s book How Micah Helped Build a Family explains the role of foster parents exceptionally well:

“We are your foster parents,” Mr. and Mrs. Dooley would remind Micah. “That means that, even though you fit in so well with us, you’ll be here only until the right people are found. They will become your very own family, and you’ll be part of that family forever.” “Did I do something wrong?” Micah asked. He didn’t understand why he would have to leave the Dooleys someday. “No Micah, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Mr. Dooley assured him. “We love having you here. But our job is to keep you safe and give you a home until you are placed in one of your very own.” Mrs. Dooley added, “Since we cannot care for you forever, we will care for you until just the right people are found. And we will enjoy having you with us as long as you are here!”

Until the adoption is final, my children are blessed to be living with a wonderful, stable, Christian foster family. I thank God for them, and pray for their continued love of children.

To all those who foster, my hats off to you, and my thanks to God for you! For more on the Foster Parent perspective, please visit our Foster Care blog.


Special thanks to my supportive hubby for suggesting this topic!