Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority, so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him. (2 Corinthians 2:6-8)

Anger does something to you. It’s a terrible feeling when you are just churning away inside. In Ephesians 4:26, God tells us to “be angry and sin not,“ so clearly anger isn’t prohibited and certainly serves some purpose. However, what we do with that anger is what becomes dangerous. Do we let it eat away at us as a cancer, or do we turn it into something productive that re-engergizes us and gives us new clarity of thought and new purpose of action?

If we have anger towards our children’s birthparents, we must choose forgiveness. We must choose to have agape love … the love that seeks a person’s best interests. Often we know much of the circumstances that lead birthparents to the place where they must choose adoption. Often we know that it’s a temporary “bad space” that leads a birthparent to act or not act as the source of whatever is currently eating away at you and made you angry.

The context for the verses listed above is a continuation from something that happened in 1 Corinthians 5. The church had withdrawn its association from one of its members (as commanded to do) because of a sin he committed. This act was designed to restore the person to his right state of mind, leading him to get right with God. It worked! He did repent, however some of his brothers and sisters continued disassociating with him and giving him the “spiritual cold shoulder.” Paul, in the verses here, basically says, “Whoa! Call off the dogs … it’s over!” Going overboard could lead the person to give up on himself and think he is not worthy of forgiveness.

Often our children’s birthparents have had it rough, or at least a “rough patch”. However, we all make choices that are unwise at times. Youth, fear, “life stuff” can all contribute to unwise choices. The longer we live, mature, and have “safe harbors” in our lives, the more we are able to, like the man in 1 Corinthians, be restored to a place of mental and spiritual peace.

I pray that for our children’s mother … and that helps me let go of “my stuff” and restores me to a place of mental and spiritual peace as well.