The Pee-Pee Saga continues. We’ve shown love and mercy, and overlooked it. We’ve tied consequences directly to the action and had her do her own laundry. We’ve taken away privileges. Today, I took away all her “fancy clothes” because she soils them. Still, no matter the outcome, pleasant or not, it’s the same result – she pees.

We’re not being inconsistent; we’re just trying to find an equitable solution. I have asthma and the urine smell triggers me.

She admits this is done purposely. Her pediatrician concurs that it doesn’t appear to have a physiological basis (we did a full course of antibiotics earlier when we had issues with encopresis and she did have a bladder infection).

So, if she herself admits it’s on purpose, and the doctors have ruled out anything else, what is behind this? My daughter is only six and cannot know the “real” reason, thus here are a sampling of her theories:

• I want more (more stuff)
• Because I didn’t like what you told me
• I’m scared of the “bad men”

I am truly at my wits end because of the situation with my asthma (did I mention stress is a trigger, along with strong smells?).

In addition to the “logical consequences” of having to do her own laundry, another consequence is that her brothers are beginning to not want to be around her. I feel sad for her, and try to keep the boys civil, yet at the same time, I wonder if this “logical consequence” will carry weight with her?

Both her foster mom and former social worker told me that there would be long periods of time (months) between these incidents. Thus, I know it is something within her control. I also know it is a form of power struggle, and somehow she feels powerless. But why? When I talk about it with her she says she knows that she is loved. She is happy with us. Yet, she continues to be plagued by this “bad men” stuff. You may recall in yesterday’s post, I asked her exactly what continuing to pee really does to these “bad men” who don’t even know where she is – and of course, she had no answer. I am really sincere when I ask what the tie is between peeing here – in this house – and the bad men from her past?

For those of you who have dealt successfully with this issue, I throw it out to you for insight, ideas and suggestions. What has been your experience as to why your children do this?

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