The last few days have been a whirlwind, harkening me back to those first few days - almost.
Yesterday, my husband preached for a neighboring congregation. My daughter, who had visited this congregation before and loved it, was having a difficult day to say the least. She had a meltdown during services. She kicked, pulled, bolted for the front door and was verbally insulting. I managed to get her to the cry room, and had to hold her until she could calm down. She was able to turn it around, and we rewarded the behavior.

My daughter has struggled with insomnia from even before she got here. Though there are times that she is able to go to sleep right away, more often than not, it takes her hours, no matter what we do. It’s taken on a deeper tone as she has expressed fears about walking on the floor (because she can get pulled down), or that her music CDs are alive and want to “get” her.

Today was her weekly therapy session, so we used the time to try to get at the root of what was going on for her, both with the meltdown yesterday, and the persistent insomnia with this new layer of fears about inanimate objects. Her therapist feels they are both tied into her fears - the tantrums because she has built up adrenaline that is displaced and needs to be discharged, thus she is frustrated - and the irrational fears because a) she is emotionally younger than her chronological age, and thus is still trying to separate fantasy from reality, and b) because she cannot adequately articulate her fears, so she uses what she can to let people know that something is going on with her that bears discussing.

My husband and I talked about today’s session at length and we feel that in trying to deal with this enormous transition for us, and for our family -trying to set boundaries, establish parameters, etc. - perhaps we’ve overlooked the three very distinct individuals we have living under our roof. By that I mean that it was necessary to develop a family rhythm initially, but now that we’ve done that, we need to fine-tune a few things to accommodate the individual personalities our family encompasses.

We realize we need to make a much more gradual transition from playtime to bedtime. We think it’s been this hurly-burly rush to get the kids into pjs, brush teeth, say family prayers and have “good-nights.” We as adults need to unwind a bit before turning in, and we think our daughter needs that, too.

In addition to the flashlight I gave her, I’ve also given her some other tools to empower herself. I’ve told her that she can address her fears audibly. Tell them to go away. Tell them God is watching her. Tell them God is bigger than her fears - and much more powerful. I had her say some things out loud - forcefully! I changed the batteries in her flashlight.

Though I pray for her every night, I’ve started really praying about the specific things in her life that are causing her such pain and anxiety. I pray for patience and wisdom for her father and I. I pray for comfort and coping for her. I pray she finds peace. I pray that she will always look to God for strength and guidance.