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She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue (Proverbs 31:26).
As I have often shared, I grew up with undiagnosed ADD. My impulsive speech and poor social skills cost me many friendships and years of heartache. To this day, I bear those scars and find it awkward meeting new people for fear I’ll say something wrong.
Because of this experience, I ache when I watch my daughter as she struggles with her often rude behavior. It’s like re-living all the bad stuff all over again. And, maybe that’s why God picked me to be her Mama.
Tonight at Bible study, she was so rude to one of her friends that the other little girl was visibly upset. This little girl’s parents are very laid back, and rarely anything fazes them, but the dad mentioned something to my hubby about the incident.
In our household, we talk a lot about Allocution and Restitution. The kids must allocute (be able to clearly state what it is that they did, so we are able to know that they clearly understand what they did), and if it involves the property of another, they must make restitution.
Thus, when we got home, as a logical consequence of her actions, my daughter was told she needed to call her friend and apologize for her behavior. I did not give her any words to say. I did not talk to the parents for her to introduce the topic. I dialed the number, and handed the phone to her. She had to ask for her friend, and when she came on the line, she apologized brilliantly! She told her friend she was sorry, and what she was sorry for (speaking rudely). She asked her friend for forgiveness, and told her that she would draw her “a pretty picture with words of apology” on it. I have to say, it really was a nice apology, and beyond that, a sincere one that clearly moved her friend because they were able to work it out.
We also had her apologize to God. That’s another rule in the household. If you do something that violates God’s commands for us, we include God in our apology, and make sure we pray to Him to tell Him that we are sorry. This is an alone prayer between the person who did the wrong and God.
I’m including a few resources here as aids in helping your child increase their social skills. I also ordered several books. I hope to review them at some later date, once I’ve read them. We are also revisiting our Worthy Women Club and scripture memorization activities as they relate to this topic!
Resources:
Photo credit: Stock Xchng
