Comments on: Showing Favoritism

By: westernpafamily

westernpafamily — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 00:15:06 +0000

Not sure if you are on still, but we have adopted 4 children and have one biological child and the reality is that we don’t love any of our 5 children exactly the same. What you think is favoritism is likely just a different level of love at the moment for each of your children. Everyone of us is unique and thus the expression of love is applied differently to each we love. I think you will be fine and in time you will realize that your love is really just different for each of your children as it is different between a child and a spouse, etc, etc.

By: magimkmom

magimkmom — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 20:35:19 +0000

I would confess that it is easier to love my natural born children. We took in our nephew before our daughter was born and eventually adopted him. So, why are my natural children easier to love? It could be that I bonded with them because I shared my body with them. Or it could be that they just have less problems because they have both shared in the love and security of two parents, from birth. Anyway, I have always had to work harder to love my adopted son and I never want to give up at that work. I can never love him to wholeness but God can. I completely believe that our son is in our family by God’s design and He has a plan for each and every one of us!

By: winter

winter — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 02:39:57 +0000

I think the fact that you can recognize that you might show favortism towards one child is the first step is correcting it.

We have two boys one has been with me a month longer then the other so I bonded more with him and I also think that I tend to feel the older one should be more mature and my patience wasn’t what I wanted it to be. He was pushing my buttons – and he was – on purpose – testing me. I do know that I absolutely love them both the same – and am starting to feel the same love for them that I feel towards my two grown biological children.

They are gifts from God that have lived a life that NO CHILD should have live. Patience and guidance, Love and Discipline, safety, trust and consistance is what we have to give them or we shouldn’t be doing this.

By: fatcat

fatcat — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:26:42 +0000

I think it's impossible to treat them all eac
exactly the same. They are different people, even my 3 biological kids are very different and they need different parenting. I try to do what's best for them and if they call me on it and it looks like I've favored one of them, unfairly, I listen and try to react more fairly from then on. It's hard though.

I can definitely see just having your adopted
kids for 1 year that you would feel differently. Wait until they've been with you 5 years then reassess. I bet you'll feel a much stronger bond then.