Upon waking up we had a family meeting where we informed the kids that we are adopting them. Though they appeared quite pleased, it was somewhat anti-climactic. I think, in part, because they had pretty much figured it all out by this point!

However, my daughter, who does internalize and process things, had a potty “accident” about an hour after “The Reveal.” Having had numerous conversations with both her foster mom and social worker over the months, I did know of my daughter’s propensity toward this form of expression and knew it was a great possibility after the news.

I really debated my response. I finally decided that I needed to deal with it head on, just so she would have an established boundary and so that she could begin to trust that I will give her feedback and guidance.

She asked me to go into the bathroom with her to clean up, so I did. I then sat down on the edge of the bathtub and looked her in the eye. I told her that I knew that she had control of her bodily functions and that this was a deliberate “choice.” I said that it was important for her to know that I knew. I told her I understood that she didn’t have a lot of control about living with us, a foster home, or with her birth mom … that a lot of stuff happened “to” her. I asked her if she was doing this on purpose and she admitted that she did. I then told her that if she was going to play the “Pee Pee/Poo Poo Card”, I was going to play the “Pull-Up Card” and told her that until dinner time, she would be in training pants. Naturally there were tears and great resistance, but I held firm and told her she had two choices: wear the training pants and go play with the boys, or be in the bathroom without underwear until she could come out and be with us. She was afraid the boys would “know” and I assured her they would not. She continued to cry and plead to wear her “Big Girl” panties. I reiterated that she could wear them after dinner provided she continued to make appropriate choices. I left her to ponder her decision, and after about a minute, went to check on her in the bathroom, only to find her fully dressed with the training pants on under her jeans. Whew!

Since I knew we’d be going back to the superstore later in the day to get her teacher a present for her new baby as requested by her foster mom, I also told my daughter that I would get her some brand new “Big Girl” underwear while we were there, if she was making appropriate choices.

She shadowed me that evening as I made dinner and was a major help. At our dinner prayer, hubby gave thanks specifically for her help, and I know she felt good about herself!

After a day of the kids calling us “Mom” and “Daddy” interspersed with our names, we settled into a “typical family” scene that night. As the next morning meant a 6:00am wake-up in order to travel the hour needed to get to her graduation, we needed to do hair. I sat and braided hair while Dad played with the boys. It was so completely normal and felt great!

The bedtime battles have mellowed tremendously, but even with warnings all day that there will be an early bedtime, a little “turbulence” ensues. It’s over fairly quickly, and the kids fall asleep.

Hubby and I pack up and clean the house since we will need to leave by 7:00am. We don’t want to make the hour trip to come back and do this on our last day and then commit another hour to going back! So, exhausted, we do this and fall into bed for our last day with the kids …