Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her rejoice who gave birth to you. (Proverbs 23:25)

In this day and age, respect and manners have fallen by the wayside in pursuit of higher academic standards and materialism. We emphasize athletic ability and good grades, and reward such with more “stuff.” What about basic common courtesies?

My oldest son has been involved with robotics competitions for the past three years or so. For the last year, these classes have been held in my home. The most recent semester has been the most difficult one, not because the class has climbed a ladder on the rung and are competing at a higher level (though this is true), but because most of the children in the class lack basic common courtesy.

These children routinely stand on our sofa, climb on chairs, roller skate through my house with those "heely" tennis shoe skates, and leave the bathroom a mess. One child even put a candy wrapper in our toilet bowl (on top of the urine that he left in there without flushing....ewwww!)!

As a woman and mother, I don’t want to give my sons the impression that a woman’s job is to clean up after these boys, nor impart that message to my daughter! I want all of my children to be active participants in the maintenance of their home, regardless of gender – something I hope they will carry with them when they leave my home.

It’s more than just teaching our children to be “good guests” and how to act in someone else’s home. We must instill respect in our children, so that they will make appropriate choices wherever they are. This skill will serve them well in years to come, just as much, if not more than academics and athleticism.

In our Western culture, we want to compete in the open marketplace, so we emphasize grades. We think boys should be involved in sports, so we tout athletics – and often overlook sportsmanship. We’re trying so hard to swing the “Science and Math Disparity” pendulum with our girls back the other way, that we are forsaking many classes that were standard (for boys and girls) when I was in school, like art, sewing, home economics, and – gasp! – dare I say it? Manners and values!

How do these pursuits serve our children? Without teaching courtesy, respect, sportsmanship and respect for the property of others (and the pride of caring for our own property!)– important social skills – we’ve only done half of our job!

We must teach our children:

Manners: Saying, “please,” “thank you” and “yes” (not “yeah”) are important. When our children receive a compliment, they should be taught to acknowledge it, and thank the person bestowing it. Hopefully, you as the parent are modeling this daily in your own observable behavior!

Respect for property: Our kids must learn to respect their own property and the property of others. They should be taught to care for their toys, rooms, clothing and other items. When in the homes of others, at school or in a store (or other venue), they should be taught the same care and respect for items there, as they would in their own homes.

Yes, boys are wired differently and do a lot of “roughhousing” but that does not, and should not, mean they cannot be required to be gentlemen as well. Likewise, our girls should be well-versed in manners and taught to behave as ladies. Both sexes should be taught how to sit, dress modestly, and behave in such a way as to bring honor to themselves and their families.

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