"I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.” (John 17:14-17).

Though I do not currently have teens living in my home, I have had them in the past. Maybe because of our affinity for this age group, they seek us out - I don’t know. Whatever the case may be, I had an opportunity tonight to help a foster child attend a Bible study at a neighboring congregation.

The topic dealt with raising godly children in our current society. The parents were asked to name the dangers they felt confronted their children; the teens were asked what they felt the most pressing dangers were. Some of the answers shocked me, and I’m not easily shocked!

One teen stated that a boy at her work stated that he was going to make it his goal to see that she got drunk. Many of the teens concurred that they get these types of comments. They said they deal with peer pressure around drugs, sex, alcohol, fitting in…all the things you might expect. But to hear that someone is out to ensure that you sin, is altogether another thing!

The Bible tells us, though, we shouldn’t be surprised:

Be of sober spirit, be on the alert Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. (1 Peter 5:8-9)

The question was raised: What can parents do to help? The answers were just as surprising:

Be there! Teens want us in their lives. They want to share. They want to tell us what’s going on with them. But, they want to do it on their own timeframe, and they want to do it voluntarily. One girl said that if they cry, or don’t want to talk about something, don’t force the issue. Just let them know they are loved, and that you are there to talk, if and when they are ready.

Set boundaries - but step back and watch from a distance! The teens said they didn’t have a problem if parents asked where they were going, what movie they were going to see (and they were okay with parents forbidding it, if it wasn’t an acceptable one!), all that. But, don’t follow them and go to the movie, too! Grill them when they get home, that’s just honky dorie as well. So, independence, with a firm dose of boundary setting.

Love, love, love! School is tough. It’s a battle zone to navigate peer pressure, the pressure to succeed academically and/or athletically, and all the other pressures teens face. Let them know they are loved. Leave notes, or a little token to say they are in your thoughts and prayers. But, reach out to them, and always let them know how much you care.

Be friendly, but not a buddy. You are the parent. Teens desire a good relationship with you, but don’t cross a line and blur your role as authority figure. It’s embarrassing, and it sends a mixed message. They want to talk to you, tell you about their day; but they don’t want to dress like twinsies with you!

Help them create a support network. Be involved with church activities so they can be with other kids “like them” that “get it.” Make your home the safe haven and invite their friends over, rather than having them go to a home that may not embrace all of your Christian values.

Overall, teens try to please us. Yeah, they are moody, thanks to teen hormones. And, maybe there are other mental health issues, as were touched on in class by some of the teens who mentioned that depression is a serious issue among some of their non-Christian peers. But, generally speaking, they want and crave our love, affection and attention - just not always so up close and personal. Set the boundaries, create the environment, trust them as they earn your trust, and make sure they get large doses of God’s word. They were optimistic that if those elements were in place, they would have the tools necessary to be “in this world, but not of it.”