Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that your progress will be evident to all (1 Timothy 4:15).

Okay, this verse is taken out of context, but it so aptly summarized what’s been going on with my daughter of late. We just came back from her therapy appointment, and I’m just so pleased with the progress I see. I’m using this post as a snapshot – a reflection of a brief moment in time – knowing that the task before her requires so much that nothing is static as of yet, but is rather dynamic, that is, ever changing..

We are a little over a day away from a solid three weeks without a rage. Though we still see sparks of defiance (storming off, growling under her breath, etc.), we aren’t having the hourly battles to just get a basic level of compliance. In fact, I can’t remember the last actual tantrum she had! She’s even stopped slamming doors after the “stomping off.” Her tone has completely changed – no more mouthing off. She skates close to the “tantrum triggers’ but has been doing a superlative job of responding to cues and catching herself before escalating. She still whines and questions everything, but everything can’t change at once and she is really doing some self-work in response to our feedback.

She continues to strongly attach to us. She misses her brothers when she is away from them. If hubby or I take her to appointments without the other one, she will express how much she misses the parent who is away.

Her therapist is working with her around the rude talk. It doesn’t appear to be intentional – she really does seem to be oblivious that her way of expressing herself sometimes causes pain to others. This is different from the “rage talk” which was clearly meant to be injurious.

It has been hard to book weekly appointments with her therapist due to the crazy clinic schedule, but today he cleared a previously booked block of time and gave the weekly slot to us indefinitely. I am hoping this will only add to the progress we’re seeing.

This is such a stark contrast to our last appointment, wherein my daughter very clearly articulated the fears that appeared to constantly consume her. In fact, today her doctor asked her how that’s been going, and she said that she feels much safer. We’ve seen the corroborating evidence: she used to come out of her room every few minutes at night, for two to three hours, before settling down to sleep. We didn’t completely clamp down on this, because she had an overactive bladder problem that they attributed to stress. But now, that has diminished, as has the need to be up so much at night (we termed these "scouting expeditions" - reconnaissance missions to gather information that she was still safe). Having these points of outside validation to reassure us help so much because, as parents, we to believe things are getting better, and we hold on to anything to try to make it into some sort of proof that it is. When we see objective signs pointing to progress, it is an occasion for joy – again, for however brief – but still cause for celebration!

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