We had a friend and her two daughters visiting with us today (not important to the story, but the girls were adopted – just a cool side note – back to the article in progress!).

One of the girls broke a pen my son was attached to … it had arms that moved when you clicked these little buttons in back. I thought it might be time to acclimate my only child to “Life With Siblings!”

Get input: When my husband and I first learned of our adoption opportunity, we consulted our son before committing to the process. Since it would impact him, we thought it only fair to get his input.


Dealing with sharing: Our son has an allowance. Since he has purchased some of his own toys, he should have control of them. Thus, when his brother and sister arrive, we’ve suggested that anything of value to him, or anything not age-appropriate for them, should be put away out of their reach. He is responsible for this.


Things will get broken: It is a fact of life. It happens. Everyone breaks something that means something to someone else. You grieve and then you forgive, and move on (Matthew 18:22). Sometimes restitution is involved. If it’s a “willful breakage” there might be a consequence along with the restitution (Exodus 22:1-15). This is not to trivialize the child’s feeling who lost something of value. It’s why I say grieve … then forgive and move on.

Choose your battles: My children (and we, as parents of them!) will need to choose battles wisely. Sometimes it’s not worth the effort and ill-will to pursue every infraction. After all, don’t we want God to forgive our many daily transgressions (Matthew 18:21-35, Matthew 6:12)?

Make it right: Verses to keep in mind: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26); “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother” (Matthew 18:15); “But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions (Mark 11:26); and “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).

Realize what is most important: Having siblings is a joy that will last a lifetime. The intimate bonds forged under covers, over tears and through many years mean more than the momentary “grrr” that comes with daily squabbles. This is a lesson that won’t be immediately seen, perhaps, but it is the most lasting!

For more on this topic, please visit Adopting A Sibling, here at AdoptionBlogs!