We've been talking a bit about moving. The kids are pretty excited about it and talk about it, even though we've clearly stressed it's all conjecture at this point. Even though we've looked at a few places, we still have let the kids know we're not sure about taking any steps toward any of the dwellings we've seen.
Even though it appears the kids all view this positively, I am still concerned about uprooting the kids. I take transitions pretty seriously, because I know all three of our kids are pretty sensitive and get attached to things very easily. I also remember how traumatic it was for our oldest to move from our last home to this one.
Since our youngest moved from place to place, almost nomadically, with their birth mother, and then made the transition to a foster home, then to our home, I wonder what the effect would be of moving them yet again.
They do enjoy the house we are currently in. However, just because they are excited about a move, doesn't mean it won't be without feelings of grief, trauma and loss. I don't take those feelings lightly, so we've tried to involved them in the decision.
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Participation: The kids have gone with us as we've looked at places. They give us their input after the visit.
Consider: Along with participation, we take their feedback pretty seriously. Though it's been positive so far, we'd probably rule out a place they didn't really like.
Talk: Tell the kids as much as is needed for them to feel comfortable. We plan to let them know if we're moving toward being serious about a move. When, and if, that time comes, we'll be as concrete as possible with timeframes, etc.
Prepare: Though faint at this point, moving is still a possibility. We've tried to let the kids know that so they can chew on it a bit, ask questions, and generally let the idea grow on them slowly.
If you need to make changes with your adopted children, try to give them as much notice as possible, be open and be available to soothe fears and concerns. Be as open as you can, and prepare them for the next steps.
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