In a previous post, we discussed the plethora of things one should pray for as they relate to adoption. Today we’ll focus on just one: praying for your child to have peace.

Our children must deal with many things throughout their life’s journey. Often there are medical, emotional, and behavioral issues, which can add to a child’s low-self esteem. If there are adverse birthfamily circumstances such as abuse, violence or a criminal history, your child can internalize these things and think they are “bad.” If you child was adopted trans-racially, your child may have periods of feeling “not like you” or get teased for being “different.”

So prayer is crucial in helping our children to form the spiritual core that will sustain them throughout this journey.

When you think of the apostle Paul, your first thoughts might center on what an encouragement he was to others. Or, that he was a good example (1Corinthians 11:1). But, as he wrote much of the New Testament, he was in one dire situation after another:

I more so; in far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death. Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. (2 Corinthians 11:23b-27; NASB)

So, how could so much encouragement flow through one who had seen so much turmoil in his life?

It’s probably been over twenty years now, but something a preacher once said made an indelible impression upon me, and I think it is the key to understanding how Paul could be so positive during adverse conditions. He used the illustration of a thermometer and a thermostat. He said that a thermometer reacts to external conditions – if it’s cold, the thermometer moves down, if it’s hot, the thermometer moves up. A thermostat, on the other hand, does not react to external conditions – it sets the temperature. It will keep chugging away until it hits the temperature it wants, regardless of what is going on.

We must teach our children to set their spiritual thermostat. No matter what the obstacles, and we’ve seen Paul had some doozies, you can be at peace. Not that you will always be happy – I don’t think Paul was shouting “Yippee” while hanging onto driftwood while shipwrecked - but you can have peace. Paul shows us how:

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7, NASB)

As he penned these words, he was in a Philippian jail. Rejoice? In jail? Yes! How? Though prayer. What will be the result? Peace … peace like you can’t even wrap your head around.

What is past cannot be changed, and we have to find a way to deal with it so that we are not overwhelmed. Paul addresses this by saying:

“… But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14; NASB)

Given all he suffered, he lets us in on his “secret”:

I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:12-13)

One of the biggest hurdles adoptive parents face is helping their child to realize you really are “forever family.” Nothing will change that … no amount of “bad behavior” … no amount of “acting out” … nothing! Paul said it best, when he described the Father’s love for us:

But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:37-39; NASB).

Let us continue to pray for peace for our children.