I’ve long been proud of every utterance, doodle, what have you, that my oldest son has ever produced. It’s just a natural motherly pride that swells within your breast every time you look at your precious child.

Some often wonder how you can ever love an adopted child “like your own.” Let me tell you ... not only is it possible, it actually happens! And it’s so natural that sometimes the force of your feelings rushes over you at times, and you wonder at the miracle of emotions that God creates within us!

I had such a moment today. My six-year-old daughter performed in her first recital. She sang in several songs during the hour-long concert, in addition to telling a joke. She had been so freaked out at the prospect of performing, that this week we saw a regression in behavior and a lapse into some behaviors that had begun to improve. But, today dawned new and bright, and she did an absolutely amazing job! Not only that, but she seemed to really enjoy herself, and smiled – something she hadn’t done much of while practicing!

During the concert, I alternately beamed, smiled and teared up with pride! After the concert, she came flying toward me and barreled into me with an enormous hug! Boy, oh, boy! Don’t you just bet that every ounce of motherly pride came rushing to the forefront?!

As a child who grew up in a single parent household, I was raised by my mother and a great-aunt. Though this great-aunt was not related to me by blood, I could not have loved her more had she been! When she passed away, I felt as though I had lost a parent. To this day, I feel the loss acutely and profoundly.

I say this because, though my daughter is not related to me by blood, I could not love her more if I had given birth to her myself, and I know that she feels the same, because she often tells me how much she loves “Mommy!”

How does this happen?

Equal treatment: My adopted children do not receive treatment any better or any worse than my biological child. All of the kids have privileges based upon age, thus my oldest (biological) child gets to stay up later than the other two, and my (adopted) daughter gets to stay up later than her younger (biological to her, adopted to us) brother. My oldest gets more allowance because he is older and can do more. My daughter gets more than her younger brother, based on the same premise. But my son doesn’t get things or privileges because we “love him more.”

Consistent treatment: My adopted children aren’t Cinderellas. They don’t serve us, while our biological child reaps the benefit of their labors. If our biological child does something meriting punishment, or something deserving special recognition, he gets it. The same goes for my adopted children.

Family treatment: We eat as a family; go on outings as a family; pray as a family; attend worship as a family; and treat each other as family. They are “brothers” and “sister” in name and attitude. Further, our extended family treats them as such. They all get the same treatment from the grandmothers for birthdays, and holidays, etc. No one is introduced as “my adopted” anything, nor is it even referred to in casual conversation as a parenthetical “aside.”

Adoptive parents can cultivate warm, rich and wonderfully healthy relationships with their children. Those of us who have done this understand how you can fully love an adopted child, just as biological parents who only have one child learn that you can equally love subsequent children.

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