Children who have been sexually abused or have repeatedly witnessed excessive adult behavior (in person or through exposure to pornography), can be overly sexualized. These children often see something sexual in everyday life, or focus on adult themes. They may ask why people take their clothes off, or what people do when they take their clothes off. They may want to know why Mom and Dad sleep in the same room and if they see each other without clothes on. You get the idea.

For children such as these, here are a few tips:

Talk to children about sex in its proper context and in age-appropriate language. Some may feel uncomfortable doing this, or think that their child is too young. Even with children that are not overly sexualized, it’s good to talk to them about God’s gift of sexuality with God’s spin on it before the world does. There are wonderful age-appropriate books to help you do this. But for children with this type of exposure, they already know some of this, and what they know is jumbled up and certainly isn’t God’s design for sex. These children need to be re-educated and taught the proper names for our body parts and how they relate to God’s design for the family.

Remove “stumbling blocks.” For little girls, one of the hallmarks of childhood is playing house with dolls. However, if there is the chance children will use male and female dolls to replay inappropriate sexual activity, it might be best just to have female dolls for your daughter to mother (though there can be issues with that as well…you will have to use your judgment). Sadly, our culture is saturated with images of women dressed seductively, and some of these “fashions” are marketed to children: clothing with spaghetti straps, bare midriffs, mini-skirts, short-shorts and the like. Thus, we need to resist the temptation to dress our girls in these “cute” outfits and teach them to dress modestly (1 Timothy 2:9). This goes for our boys as well: “saggy” pants exposing undergarments, taking off their shirts for sports, and the like. Additionally, draw the line at television shows glamorizing “boyfriends,” inappropriate fashions, and more mature themes. Further, pay attention to what you watch as well. I was shocked when one of the ten-year-olds in my weekly knitting group started talking about an episode of “Desperate Housewives” that she recently watched…with her mother!

Monitor internet and cell phone usage and install parental controls and filters. Sadly, technology can be as much a bust as it is a boon. Chat rooms, IMs and texting are havens for people who prey on children, and draw them into highly sexualized conversations.

Talk to your children. Keep the lines of communication open. Let them know that they can come to you for anything. Pray for them always.

Related articles:

How to Keep Your Son Safe from Pornography

How to Raise Godly Girls


Talking With Your Son About Difficult Topics (Son’s Site; BellaOnline.com)