I’ve learned along the way that my children are often amazing reminders of how much the Lord loves each of us. I sit in my rocking chair and ask God again and again to help me sustain during these hard times of testing.
Our youngest child pushes and pushes. Tonight my dear husband and I talked about the possibility of putting him in a therapeutic facility if he continues to increase in violence as he gets older and larger. Having any of our children live anywhere other than in our home is not something I am ever interested in doing. I realize that I cannot know what to expect from our son and that could potentially be a problem. It hurts my heart that he keeps increasing his behaviors and there doesn’t appear to be anything I can do to help him. I get so frustrated and I want to give up on him but I don’t.
The Lord reminds me daily that He doesn’t give up on me either. He uses my son to show me how hard it can be for a parent to watch a child dwindle and disappear. He uses my son to let me know that I have not always been the easiest person either. Yet, my Lord doesn’t give up. When I am successful and obedient, He does not remind me of my shortcomings. He praises me and welcomes me home. When I am seeking His affection, He gives of Himself freely with no walls up because of how I have hurt Him in the past. No matter the situation, He adores me and is waiting expectantly for me to return to Him.
What kind of parent would I be if I could remember my Lord’s example when I am frustrated and dismayed? How would my son respond if I welcomed Him with open arms after He hurt me? What could his future look like if I gave of myself freely rather than holding back because of my own frustration and anger?
In no way am I suggesting that we allow our children to abuse us, manipulate us or walk on us. Allowing these things only continues to develop their warped sense of relationship. But what if we approached each difficult situation with God’s lenses on rather than our own lenses of the history of hurt. What if we looked at our children as God looks at us? Maybe it would change our interactions and thereby change our relationship. I’m thinking it might be worth a try.