I’ve been online for about 12 years now. I’ve participated in chats, e-mail discussion groups, community boards and forums. The topics have been diverse – some seemingly innocuous like homeschooling – some rife with debate like attachment parenting (with sub components like the vaccination debate and whether to circumcise or not). And, in all of these cases, whether “innocuous” or not – you get debate – some healthy – much of it not. And so it is with adoption.

As Jan Baker over at First/Birth Parents eloquently states it:

That voice is telling me that essentially we both have the same goal. Parents - all parents - who care about children want what is best for them.

Now, being relatively new to the world of adoption, I have made some blunders in terminology - of course, not intentionally. Yet, one thing strikes me – we are still polarized in debate.

Now, I clearly understand why such an emotional issue can set people up to be “at odds” with each other. I’ve fallen, at times, into some of the “judgemental-ness” that can be pervasive throughout all sides of the adoption triad. But, I think I’m trying to address some of the “mean-spiritedness” that humans inflict upon each other whether the issue is adoption or who is the “best” (or worst, however you look at it!) comic book super-villain.

Over the years when I see important issues buried under layers of personal attacks, I tend to bow out. I have my “Can we all get along?” moment to rally the troops, stick around to see if anyone hears that message, and then gracefully bow out if people continue to put others down in a personally insulting way just to prove their point.

Central to the Christian faith is the infallibility of Scripture. In other words, to a Christian, the Bible is right. End of story. Jesus could have come down to Earth, toasted everyone with His “rightness” and called it a day. But He didn’t. His message was important enough for Him to live as we did, and for us to see Him do that, that we might have hope. Did he call the “woman at the well” (in John chapter four), a hussy? Harlot? Loose woman? Anything? He just spoke to her plainly, yet with compassion, hoping that she got the bigger message and she did!

I want to focus on the bigger message in adoption, and yet speak plainly, too. For many reasons - some subjectively labeled as valid or not valid, and some that are factually valid or not valid - we’ve got precious kids who need loving homes. Who’s right? I think God is, when He says, “And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me” (Matthew 18:15).