My daughter reminds me of me in so many ways. She's had some behavioral and emotional issues; my ADD was undiagnosed until adulthood. She has very large, expressive eyes – in fact, in pictures, it's the first thing you notice about her. Every picture of me that my mom has shows that same wide-eyed expression on my face.
I remember as a child sitting at my aunt's feet as she did my hair. I have very textured, ethnic hair, and a very tender scalp. My daughter sits at my feet, now, and also has a tender head. We use hair time as bonding time, and talk about various things of interest to her. Sometimes we have weighty discussions, because she'll ask me something spiritually complex. Other times, she just wants to be silly and goof off. However, most of the time, it's just she and I alone in my bedroom as I do her hair.
Another activity we enjoy together is knitting. I'm an avid knitter and one of the first things I did after my daughter arrived home with us was teach her to knit. Now that she knits, she begs to come sit and knit with me. If we aren't knitting, sometimes she'll just want to talk to me about knitting. She wants to come to the knitting group I lead for 'tweens and teens. It's yet another opportunity for bonding.
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She loves to copy me. She loves to hear stories about me when I was a little girl. She loves when I teach her about “
things ladies do,” and pays rapt attention.
It's odd to think that her many issues kept me at a distance initially, considering how much alike we are. Or maybe it's because we are so much alike that I couldn't see beyond the rages and tantrums. However, now, with the passing of time, we have such a strong connection because of our similarities, and she is very much my little twin.
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