Thanks to all who have chimed in on the pee issue. But, I do feel I need to clarify a few points:

• There are 2 types of peeing going on – voluntary and involuntary. The involuntary we are ignoring (nighttime while sleeping, true accidents, etc.). It is the voluntary we are addressing. How do I know the difference? My daughter will sit in front of the TV or while playing and finishes up, rather than go to the restroom, and is able to articulate that she wanted to finish (insert whatever it was she wanted to do here).

• Yes, we do give her love around the involuntary issues. The voluntary one often involves sneaking (trying to get a pullup from the bin when she comes into our room “just for a hug”) and lying (and she makes up some doozies). I understand the lying part. With kids who have witnessed or been victims of abuse, you say whatever you have to in order to avoid getting hit. Not that the lying is okay, but I do understand the rationale. But knowing you need to and just sitting there not caring that you’re peeing on the furniture everyone else enjoys as well as you? I still don’t understand that one, and keep putting this issue out there hoping those of you who know better than I will shed some light on this for me.

• I believe I’ve mentioned I have asthma. One of my triggers is strong scent. Because my daughter often lies and covers it up, we only discover it by strong smell. By then it is too late, and I’ve been triggered. Is she intentionally giving me an asthma attack? I would honestly hate to think that, and I honestly don’t think that. When I have asthma attacks due to other triggers or strong smells, she is the first one on the scene with water or cough drops. She will tell me that someone is smoking in front of a store, or if someone is wearing heavy perfume so I won’t be triggered. So, I don’t think it’s to make me ill. But, it does make me ill at times, and thus, because of the severity of that, it is a big issue, and it will be addressed - Every. Single. Time. I’d like to think breathing is "up there" as a necessity, and, frankly, yes, even above this issue of my daughter's. I have been understanding and compassionate about the myriad of other issues. Breathing is life or death.

I do value the input I’ve received from those of you on the front lines! Keep your ideas and suggestions coming. Stay tuned for some other ideas from my PTSD support group and insights into this issue.


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