Earlier this week I had lunch with the director of an adoption agency. We discussed the communication agreement that birth parents and parents adopting domestically sign. These contracts are legally-enforceable in some states; in others, they serve as “good faith agreements.”

My friend noted how sad it makes her feel when Christian families neglect to abide by the terms specified in the communication agreement. More than a few parents fail to send letters and pictures at the required times, she said. And some adoptive parents send blurry photos of the child, taken from 10 feet away.

I can understand that the advent of a new baby drastically changes your life. The lack of sleep, combined with work, household chores, baby care, and everyday activities make writing a letter and putting together a packet of pictures every few weeks a challenge (I know; I’ve been there). But that’s no excuse for neglecting to send them!

It particularly irks me when Christian families are the ones at fault. Because of our faith grounded in agape love–self-sacrificing brotherly and sisterly love we are to extend to others—Christians have a moral obligation to be honest, trustworthy, and dependable to a fault.

Where is the agape in failing to abide by the terms of a legal contract—in failing to provide a grieving birth family with information and pictures of the child they entrusted into your care?

Where is the agape in sending a quick note you dashed off because you had to—a note that sounds as if it could describe any baby, anywhere?

Where is the agape in sending a stack of blurry pictures that don’t even show the child’s face?

There’s this great invention called a digital camera, where you can delete all the blurry, unattractive pictures and download just your best shots. Then you can store them on a free photo sharing site such as shutterfly.com, where members of the birth family can access your best shots and print pictures to their heart’s content. Or you can print them yourself on your color printer or at your local Wal-Mart and pop them in the package with your letter.

It sounds like a no-brainer to me.

In the next post, I’m going to continue my rant by speculating on more reasons why I think people fail to abide by the terms of the communications agreement.