Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6)

The American Heritage Dictionary defines discipline as, “Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.” 1

Now that we are three months into this gig – the transition is over, the newness has worn off, life has settled into a routine – it was time tonight to revisit discipline.

We’ve noticed some behaviors that are beginning to slide down that “slippery slope” – having to repeat our requests to them, beginning to “negotiate” after a request has been made, grumbling after a consequence has been pronounced (beyond what would be considered a normal response).

So we had another one of our family meetings, and hashed out all the issues we’ve been seeing lately, and reiterating our stance and expectations.

We reassured the children of our love, and that our desire is to help them to make better choices, choices pleasing to God. Further, we explained that as their parents, we, too are accountable to God for our actions, and to allow them to believe that certain behaviors are acceptable would be wrong. We also told them that no one is perfect, that we don’t expect perfection, and that we are far from perfect ourselves.

This session was a little firmer in tone than previous sessions, only because over the last few days the boundaries have really been put to the test, and we wanted to establish those boundaries in no uncertain terms.

Discipline has always been interesting for me, because growing up as an only child – and the only child of a single mother – I was spoiled and allowed to be pretty mouthy, fairly rude, and it did not serve me well. I had horrendous social skills (due in part to Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)), that were allowed to remain unchecked. I am still haunted by the memories of the way I behaved as a child and am determined that my children will know their limits.

It’s hard to discipline sometimes, partly because I didn’t know what that was as a child, but also because I love my children so much, and hate to see them disappointed or hurt. But, I also know that real "agape" love dictates that to truly show them the love of Christ, I have to guide them in the way that they should go.

1 discipline. Dictionary.com. The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/discipline (accessed: November 01, 2007)

For more on this, see the discipline series at Adoptive Parenting here at AdoptionBlogs.com