Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8)

The last six weeks have been a whirlwind. We’ve dealt with transition issues, medical issues, psychological issues, behavioral issues – you name it. It’s been a period of intense and rapid change, not unlike the period of time following the birth of a child. But we’re here. We’ve managed. By God’s grace, we’re rounding a corner.

This past week in particular, both children have made great strides. Our son is doing less hitting, and using words to express his feelings. When he does receive a consequence for his behavior, instead of “falling out” and tantrum-ing, 9 times out of 10 he’ll say, “Okay, Mama” or “OK, Daddy.” He’s also very proud of these accomplishments and each night at prayer time, he tells God exactly what he did that day (both positive and negative).

His sister has just begun Week 3 without one rage! Due to her medical condition she has to have blood drawn every few months and yesterday she got four tubes taken, and she only whimpered a little (as anyone would do!). She was so patient (there were long wait times) and so brave that the nurses gave her three Disney ™ Princess stickers, and a pinwheel. At singing class, she spontaneously helped another child find his sheet music, and earned a “Thank you!” from her teacher. She’s been doing really well with her homeschool assignments, and she is very proud of herself. She’s even received feedback from others outside of our family, praising her schoolwork.

By titling this entry, Love Never Fails, I’m not suggesting, as some have, that interventions are never needed; that mental health professionals are just spouting a lot of “psycho-babble” or that we can just “love it out of them” – whatever “it” is. But I am saying, as many have, that adoptive parents need to lavish our children with love in both the good times and times of hardship, and know that the love we offer does make a difference. We may never see the fruit of it, but it is deep inside them, and they can know that for whatever period in time, they were, and are, loved.

For some, that love means placing the child’s needs and the needs of the others in the family above all else, and that translates into a residential placement, as a few here at AdoptionBlogs have experienced. Does that mean we failed them? No. It means that some children have needs that lay-people can’t adequately address, and true agape love means having a person’s best interests at heart, even if we go against what we might desire.

For others, that love is able to take firm root in the heart of a child who can still be reached by it. A child whose past has not put them in a place mentally, behaviorally or emotionally, that causes the brain chemistry to be so altered as to not respond to our consistent, constant and affirming love.

I believe my children are in this latter category. I believe the therapeutic interventions are going to take hold. I believe the love we have and continue to offer have made a difference because they can still be reached by it. Most of all, I believe that God’s love placed them in our care – a place for whatever reasons He has, is a place He believes is currently best for them and is a place wherein they can thrive. Should that change, I believe we will know and I pray our love will be strong enough to do what is best for them in true agape fashion. But for now abide faith, love and hope, “these three; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13).