March 30th, 2009
Posted By: ReneeE

Have you ever been in a difficult conversation with someone and suddenly the right words just fly out of your mouth? You find yourself sitting in awe of the genius comment you just made but wondering where it came from. You’re sure that your brain has never concocted such a miraculous bit of information before but you’re also sure that the words came out of your mouth.

I might be a bit slow but I’ve begun to realize that when the miraculous flings itself from my mouth, it is generally the Holy Spirit speaking. Now, I don’t want to get too crazy here but I do believe in the Power of the Spirit of God to provide us with the words to help someone in need. It is only recently though that I realize the constant need I have for the Spirit to speak when dealing with my children.

So many times I just don’t have the words to help my children understand why bad things have happened to them. I grasp for the right sentiments to soothe their pain and help them find the path to healing. I struggle to make connections between their feelings and real-life examples that they will understand. I pray that the Lord will provide me with the right words at the right time, and despite my shortcomings, He does.

Last night we were having another family conversation about adopting more children. We have this conversation often so we can prepare the kids for the eventual arrival of more siblings. We talk about fears and concerns and we celebrate the great things about having more kids. During this particular conversation I could tell that T was having a hard time. He seemed frustrated and sad. So I asked him how he was feeling. As usual, his response was, “I’m mad”. I knew that he was not mad because of his demeanor and how he was handling the situation. I couldn’t get him to verbally develop his thoughts. I knew that if we didn’t resolve his feelings, he would carry a sour taste with him for days.

I took a deep breath, asked for the words from the Lord, and out they poured. I asked T to show me what mad looks like and he did. Then I asked him again if he was sure that he was feeling mad. He shook his head no. He said he thought he was feeling kind of scared. So we talked about what parts of growing our family made him feel scared. Then he interjected that he was also feeling kind of happy. I could see on his face that the two emotions together were confusing for him. Again, the Lord provided and multiple examples of scared and happy living together harmoniously popped into my head. I asked T if he was scared when he played his first basketball game. Of course he was. I asked him if he was happy to be playing basketball. And again, of course he was. Then I told him I am thrilled to death about his baby brother or sister growing inside my belly BUT I am terrified of pushing that baby out. He seemed to understand that example pretty well. Then we talked about how it is okay for fear and happiness to happen together, in fact, they often do.

The conversation was resolved in a way that left both T and I feeling very satisfied. I know that I could not have designed better words to soothe my son. In fact, I couldn’t have come up with any of that on my own. I walked away from that interaction knowing that the Spirit of the Lord had guided my words and blessed my son.

When you find yourself at a loss for the right words to help your child understand something difficult, take a breath and ask for help. We have been given the blessing of parenting special children with special issues. Don’t be afraid to trust the Lord and allow His Spirit to speak to your kids through you. You and your children will be blessed if you do.

Photo Credit.

2 Responses to “Let the Holy Spirit Speak”

  1. act says:

    Ronald Steven Federici is often described as “the country’s expert in the neuropsychological evaluation and treatment of children having multi-sensory neurodevelopmental impairments.”

    He is best described as a “developmental neuropsychologist,” specializing in the treatment of “institutional autism” (which he also calls “post-traumatic autism,” or “post-institutional autistic syndrome”).

    Dr. Federici is licensed by the Virginia Board, and is the holder of a Psy. D. degree.

    Dr. Ronald Federici is the author of “Help for the Hopeless Child: A Guide for Families, With Special Discussion for Assessing and Treating the Post-Institutionalized Child” and is the founder of Neuropsychological and Family Practice Associates, in McLean, Virginia.

    He has worked with adopted children from Russia, Romania, Ukraine and Belarus. He is also the father to seven adopted children of his own.

    Federici is also an outspoken opponent of dangerous practices, such as those resulting in the death of Candace Newmaker. In addition, he has also sought to provide as much assistance as possible to children living in orphanages and other institutions with deplorable conditions.

    More information about Dr. Federici and his work can be found at:

    http://ronaldfederici.wordpress.com (Ronald Federici blog)

    http://ronfederici.wordpress.com (Ron Federici blog)

    http://childrenintherapy.wordpress.com (Children in Therapy)

    http://advocatesforchildrenintherapy.wordpress.com (Advocates for Children in Therapy)

    http://angelinajolieadoptions.wordpress.com (Angelina Jolie’s adoptions; Dr. Federici is Angelina Jolie’s adoption consultant)

  2. jackiehandunge says:

    Thanks for the posting, would like to share this information on the new book written by Dr. Gary Chapman- Love is a Verb – http://www.bizymoms.com/books/love-is-a-verb/index.html beautiful moving and inspiring true stories. Check it out as there is a contest to win an autographed copy of his new book and a cash prize of $50.00 as well -
    http://www.bizymoms.com/books/love-is-a-verb/contest.html

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