Is My Teenage Daughter Saved?

We belong to a non-denominational church that believes that a person cannot lose their salvation, once saved. I understand there are backsliders who fall away from the church, repent, and return. There are also those whom we wonder if they were ever truly saved. Yes, they expressed salvation, as my teenage daughters did, and we were there when they made the decision. But, did all of my daughters truly mean it in their hearts, or was it an act, put on either for attention, or to fit in to the family? Were they the seeds that fell on shallow ground, which grew quickly and withered just as quickly, because they never put down and roots? Like the seeds in the parable Jesus told about the sower.

A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. 6Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. 7Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. 8Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.” Luke 8:5-8. (NIV)

We are supposed to recognize fellow Christians by the fruit that they bear. We are also supposed to recognize fellow Christians by a changed life. We are continually to strive to be more Christ-like. Obviously, this is a never-ending process; none of us can reach perfection because of our sin nature.

I understand also that the Bible tells us to forgive our brother seven times 70 times. I take this to mean that we are all going to make many mistakes. If you have read a few of my blogs then you know that I make quite a few and usually admit to it. Hopefully, I learn something from my mistakes and strive to improve or my readers are likely to call me on it.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven

times.[a] Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)
My concern for the salvation of some of my daughters lies in the changed lives and bearing of fruit. If they were striving for the prize that the apostle Paul spoke of wouldn’t the chronic lying, sneaking, and deceitful behavior begin to dissipate over the years?

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-16 (NIV)

Should we begin to see true remorse in our children as they mature into adults. I continue to see my teenage daughter getting upset because she has been caught, not because of the act itself. Should we see our maturing children seeking His will and fellowship on their own?

My now adult son, Shea, never misses his Bible study or youth group. We don’t tell him to go, he just does. We haven’t even had to give him a curfew, he is always home by 11. I see fruit and spiritual maturity in him.

This is what I don’t see in my teenage daughters. This is why I am concerned about their salvation.

Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2007

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