Now, lest you see the title and get all excited that “Finally! Someone with all the answers!” is going to wave her magic wand and give you everything you’ve ever wanted to know about parenting – I’m writing this series, because, like you, I am searching for answers. If I already had them, I would be a trillionaire several times over, by now!

As a Christian mother, raising her children in the Christian faith, I seek guidance from the Scriptures and have found that the Bible has quite a bit to say on the subject of discipline and the parent’s responsibility to provide it:

Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

And just as we are instructed to train our children, we are prohibited from going too far in the pursuit of such:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

So, there is a delicate balance that Christian parents must juggle. Further, when children come from traumatized environments, their chronological ages are sometimes at variance with their developmental ages. Additionally, if children have been abused, corporal punishment may mean something completely different to these children.

Thus, the dilemma begins. How do you discipline your child “in the Lord?”

Pray! Pray for yourself. Pray that you can remain calm, and if you do become angry, that you can do so and “sin not” (Ephesians 4:26). Pray for your child. Pray for his or her healing from any emotional scars that may have occurred previous to life with you. Pray for guidance and wisdom (James 1:5). Pray for your child’s heart to be receptive to your teaching and your love.

Love your child unconditionally: God loves us unconditionally. However, that unconditional love is not a license to do whatever we want! He does expect us to obey Him because we love Him (John 14:15).

Know your child: Each child has a different personality, and there are things they respond to, and other things that hold no meaning for them, whatsoever.

Know yourself: If you come from a background of trauma, abuse, incest or other hurdle, know that there are things that will push your buttons in ways you may not have expected. Even if you do not come from such a background, how we ourselves were parented often comes into play in unexpected ways. Further, as each child is unique, so is each parent. Each parent will have things that bother them that may not bother the other parents, etc.

Present a unified front: Discuss your philosophy with your spouse. Commit it to study and prayer if there are areas of disagreement. But, whatever you do, present a unified front for the children. If they are the type to play one parent off against the other, they will if they know that they can!

Next, we’ll look at some techniques to try. Stay tuned!