In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Today was not pretty. It started with the mad dash to get ready for trip two of three this week to the Big Hospital to the North. My daughter began to complain about her new shoes and her new clothes. Maybe it is because I have not been sleeping (due to my oldest son’s medical condition, or because hubby has had a cold), and because I have driven the Big Red Bus this week a bazillionty miles (and it’s only Tuesday, mind you!), but most likely because though we anticipated the children’s period of adjustment, we parentals failed to.

Nevertheless, for the last few days, it’s been slowly building: the incessant whining, complaining, tattling, and the like. Add to it the constant craze to get to A or B (in our case, we usually hit the whole alphabet!), and you have a recipe for Mama Meltdown.

I took some time to really reflect on what I wanted family life to be like before the new additions arrived; what I thought family life would be like when the kids got here; and the reality that now is family life with three. Needless to say, there is a great disparity between the former and the latter.

I blame me.

Ghandi once said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Today, that starts with me. In the craze of pre-finalization rushing around to complete things, I mentally put off a lot of things as I am wont to do because it isn’t pressing “right now.” When we got home, those first few days took every spare ounce of energy I had just to get through them. Then school started. As Rosannerosannadanna used to say, “It’s always something. If it’s not one thing, it’s another” and how true that has been of my life.

So I stopped.

Dead in my tracks – I stopped. I said, “Enough!” I want balance back. I want harmony back. I want to backtrack and lay the foundation I told myself I was to busy to lay. They (they are busy aren’t they?) also say, “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions…” I had ground rules set up. I ditched them just trying to get through those first hours and days. Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. And now, I am paying the price. I see habits becoming ingrained in the kids, and in my husband and me. In the way we communicate. In the way we function. In the way we plan and organize (or fail to plan and organize). And, I am done.

I called a family meeting tonight. I started with me. I apologized for rushing all the time; for not slowing down to really communicate properly. Because I am up during the night, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon, I need to find ways to get rest, so that I don’t come across as cranky. And, I told them that I love them. Very much.

But, I also said that though I couldn’t speak for hubby or anyone else, I needed to request some changes:

Next quarter, we are re-arranging the outside class schedule so there are no more insane-o-rama dashes to and fro.

We had a rule that no one could yell across the house, but rather had to walk to the room where the person was. That needs to come back.

For school, we are embarking upon Gratitude Journals – Mama included - starting tomorrow. Though we pray at every meal and at Family Devotional Time each night, we really need to dwell on the things for which we express gratitude toward God.

Everyone needs to pitch in with clean up. Instead of, “He left his toys here!” either pick them up yourself (pitch in and help) or gently remind the offending member that we all have to help in keeping our home clean. This goes for common areas, and each member is responsible for his or her own room. Along that same line, we are stopping playtime an half hour earlier, so the kids can clean up before nighttime devotional and tooth brushing.

The tattling needs to stop. Unless it is life, death, blood or an emergency, let’s “coach” and teach each other and handle our differences with nice words.

We need to use “Thank you” more often. We need to appreciate the things that others in the family do for us.

We have had a family “cheer” for as long as I can remember. I quoted it to the children and reminded them that we are a team. Everything we do is for the team!

The meeting went very well. Everyone responded positively, and everyone took responsibility for their own behavior. We agreed that since we are a team, we are going to try harder to function as one. We are going to make some adjustments so that we all have more time to do the things we love to do with each other.

Hubby and I understand much of this craziness was borne out of the havoc of being unprepared for the actual changes that adoption creates, particularly children with emotional and behavioral issues. Now that things have settled down and everyone is bonding and adjusting well, we can introduce these additional ideas to make family life smoother for all.

For these things, I am deeply grateful.