Re-establishing Contact
Continued from previous post

During the frenetic exchange of letters between our son’s birth mom and me (my husband basically handed over the letter-writing privilege to me and threw in comments every once in a while), we developed a trusting friendship.

One day, my husband and I had a little discussion: “This is really ridiculous. What are we afraid of? She’s the nicest person in the world. We love her. Let’s see if she wants to bag this semi-open adoption business.”

We sent a letter directly to her (somehow, we’d gotten access to her last name and address when one of her letters didn’t get correctly repackaged at the adoption agency). The letter we sent included our last name and address.

She says that the day she received that letter was one of the most meaningful days of her life, because she finally knew, without a doubt, that she had gained our trust. Still, she wasn’t quite ready to see her son again, and we weren’t sure whether we were quite ready for her to see him.

We decided to meet for dinner at a restaurant near where she worked – just the three of us. The dinner went great, and we spent about three hours getting caught up, in person.

When we asked whether she wanted to see little Ben again, she said she wasn’t sure. She had visions of him showing up on her doorstep on his 18th birthday, announcing, “Hi, I’m your son.” Then they would run towards one another in slow motion and begin a relationship. She hadn’t begun to process the possibility to seeing him when he was only 2 years old.

It was only a few weeks later that we were in town again (she lived in the same city as several of our relatives). My sisters-in-law and I were helping Grandma can dill pickles. My husband and I had scheduled to pick our son’s birth mom up after work and have dinner with her.

In the next post…The Great Pickling Caper