I felt the exact same way, that this was going to be the interview for the job of a lifetime. What I feared the most turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life. She was 19 years old and hardly did the grilling of questions I was anticipating. In fact, she was looking for acceptance just as much as we were. She told us that our profile was the first she picked up to read. That she just felt drawn to it, she could not explain why (of course, I thought that was my marketing background at work). After she read it, she knew she did not want to even look at any others – the kind of “when you know, you know” feeling my husband and I had when we were dating. I cherish that time we spent with her (a little over 2 hours) to be able to learn about her, her feelings, her fears, really know her situation, even to see what she looked like (I see her in my son all the time). It felt so natural, she even jokingly asked if we’d take her home too. I look forward to telling my 5 year old some day about what a special birthmom he has.

That was the last day we saw her. Her preganancy had been a secret so I was not surprised that she did not want to maintain contact. After meeting her, all my uncertainties about open adoption were quieted. I really could have seen us keeping in touch.

I just wanted to pass along to other couples who are in the processing of trying to adopt and to birthmoms, that this meeting can be a great experience. And this is coming from an adoptive mom who was not looking forward to “the big meeting” at all.