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The Final Loss
Continued from previous post
After two weeks of no contact with the baby’s mother, my husband and I held on to only the slenderest hope that this adoption would become a reality. Our counselors at our adoption agency were at a loss as to what to do.
Finally, the mother’s counselor used a bit of deception, calling the hospital, saying that she was a friend and that she urgently needed to speak with the baby’s mother. The nurse replied that the baby’s mother wasn’t at the hospital. The counselor then inquired as to the baby’s health, and was informed that he had gone home with his parents the previous week.
Our prayers for the baby’s health had been answered, but we never saw a photo of “our baby.” We never heard him cry. We never got to touch him. I saw him only once, on an ultrasound picture. The disappointment of losing that child was the greatest one of my life.
Situation #6
Our adoption agency must have felt sorry for us, because a week later we were chosen yet again, this time by an 18-year old couple who were due in two months.
Needless to say, my husband and I were quite subdued over this latest ride on the adoption roller coaster. To put it mildly, we weren’t entirely invested in acting warm and fuzzy with this couple.
When we met for lunch, we explained our situation to them and cringed inwardly when the baby’s father announced that he was pretty sure he wanted to parent.
We thought it would be best to be up-front with them about our grief, so we said, “We don’t know if we can handle this again. If you change your minds at any time during the next couple of months, will you please let us know? It won’t hurt our feelings. But we’d rather know, and we’d rather hear it from you.”
They agreed.
In the next post…Waiting…and waiting some more
