Comments on: Getting Started With Adoption, Part 13 http://christian.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/getting-started-with-adoption-part-14 Adoption from a Christian perspective - Topics include: religion, faith, prayer, and Christian adoptive parenting. Sat, 13 Feb 2010 02:44:36 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Heather http://christian.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/getting-started-with-adoption-part-14/comment-page-1#comment-4 Heather Tue, 28 Feb 2006 18:41:28 +0000 http://christian-ad.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/02/28/getting-started-with-adoption-part-14#comment-4 With our second adoption, the agency started out telling us when a birthmom would be coming in to select. Our odds were pretty decent because our agency only kept up to 17 adoptive families at a time in the "pile". I would be on pins and needles waiting for a call that never came. I really couldn't live like this (I was a basket case for weeks upon weeks) and then the agency seemed to get away from this practice. <br /> <br /> Although I did not like the info I was getting, I still wanted to know what was going on. At the time, any info was better than silence. I then started to call for monthly updates. <br /> <br /> I can't tell you how many times they would say that it was between our family and another family. The birthmom would then choose the other family because we already had one child and they felt they wanted to give their baby to a family that did not have any children. From talking to contacts in the adoption arena in our community, this was a trend they were seeing more of.It was heartbreaking each month for us. I had decided not to call anymore because it was getting too difficult on me.<br /> <br /> We are now working on our third adoption. Our home study has been completed and we have been approved since mid January. A month into our waiting game the agency called to say that we were a "real hot prospect", but again the birth parents chose a family without children. <br /> <br /> I kind of forgot how hard this waiting is going to be. And you are right, I am looking for support from friends and family and they haven't got a clue what to say. With our second adoption, the agency started out telling us when a birthmom would be coming in to select. Our odds were pretty decent because our agency only kept up to 17 adoptive families at a time in the “pile”. I would be on pins and needles waiting for a call that never came. I really couldn’t live like this (I was a basket case for weeks upon weeks) and then the agency seemed to get away from this practice.

Although I did not like the info I was getting, I still wanted to know what was going on. At the time, any info was better than silence. I then started to call for monthly updates.

I can’t tell you how many times they would say that it was between our family and another family. The birthmom would then choose the other family because we already had one child and they felt they wanted to give their baby to a family that did not have any children. From talking to contacts in the adoption arena in our community, this was a trend they were seeing more of.It was heartbreaking each month for us. I had decided not to call anymore because it was getting too difficult on me.

We are now working on our third adoption. Our home study has been completed and we have been approved since mid January. A month into our waiting game the agency called to say that we were a “real hot prospect”, but again the birth parents chose a family without children.

I kind of forgot how hard this waiting is going to be. And you are right, I am looking for support from friends and family and they haven’t got a clue what to say.

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