Usually when there is some sort of discussion raging on boards or in our articles, I tend to be fairly quiet. But I think on this one, I’ll speak up, because it helps explain my philosophy about adoption and life. Please note that my comments are not directed specifically at any of the bloggers here who have done some outstanding work justifying why they feel as they do. These are just some observations that bug me as a newcomer to adoption and adoption Political Correctness.

This discussion centers on titles. What to call a first mother (and I really do like that term, by the way). Another refers to what to call the adoptive mother (and I really do like Sandra’s offering of Enduring mother). But, leave it to me to pose the $64,000 question: What about the kids?

Once again, we’re wrangling. We wrangle, in my opinion, when we feel threatened. The birthing portion of the triad and the adopting portion of the triad still have a long way to go to work things out. My thought is, I don’t much care what my title is, because I know who I am, and my kids can call me whatever feels right to them. Currently they vacillate between Marie, Miss Marie and Mama. Call me Shamu the Dancing Whale for all I care, as long as the judge signs off and tells me I have the privilege of being their Daily Mother.

I don’t need to wear a title to do the job. I don’t need acclaim, notice, or anything. I’m not saying those who “wrangle” do, but I think that mindset comes from the marginalization and labeling our society feels compelled to do. See some of our blogs on some of the goofy questions both first parents and adoptive parents get asked, if you need more proof. Some folks say enough is enough and fight for what is (rightfully) theirs. But as for me, I’m too busy being Mama to worry about being called it.

I do not plan to debate abortion/pro-life here. But one thought that has always bothered me is this, “it’s my body, I can do what I want” philosophy. Well, excuse me, there is another little person who might feel differently. Yep, I said person:

For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)

Again, my point isn’t to debate my pro-life views. It is once again to call us to remember the child. And this discussion about titles is not different. It's really about tuning into the needs of the child, (setting aside my own) and helping them navigate through all the conflicting emotions that they will have in life as they deal with the first mother/adoptive mother (and first father/adoptive father, for that matter!) issues.

Now, I come from a different place in adoption. I did not endure the pain of infertility. I had a wonderful birth experience with my oldest son. I did have a miscarriage. However, I am choosing adoption because I heard about these two little people who needed an Everyday Mommy. Call me Arnold Horshack and, “Ooh! Ooh! Pick me!”

Their story moved me to act. The Bible is filled with examples where Jesus was moved to do something because of His compassion. Am I adopting to be a saint or martyr? Nope. Just saw some kids who needed to be adopted, and like Samuel of old said, “Here am I, Lord, send me.”