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My son’s adoption day was March 1 (actually February 29, but since there was no February 29 this year, we celebrated it March 1).
What do we do to celebrate his adoption day? Nothing, really. We announce, “Today’s your adoption day…whoo hoo!” And that’s about it. Probably because his adoption day occurs only two days after his birthday. And we do celebrate his birthday.
For some families, adoption day is a big deal. For children who have been waiting in foster homes or orphanages, I imagine that adoption day might be quite an important event.
The Jan/Feb issue of Adoptive Families magazine included a column by Karen Moline in which she takes issue with the use of the term “Gotcha Day” to describe adoption day. She finds the term offensive, parent-centered, and smacking of “acquiring a possession.”
The origins of ‘Gotcha Day’
The term “Gotcha Day” seems to have been coined recently, with the first International Gotcha Day celebrated September 15, 2005. Yet the term has already “become thoroughly entrenched in adoption-speak,” writes Moline.
Moline’s column sparked quite a response from readers, who wrote in by the dozen to agree or disagree with her. Some say that the term “adoption day” doesn’t differentiate clearly enough between their children’s placement and finalization dates.
The Pros
Others say the phrase is cute and endearing – a “warmer, friendlier” version of “adoption day.” They equate the term with a permanent, safe place.
The Cons
Those who dislike “Gotcha Day” call it “crude, ill-mannered, inappropriate and cheap” – “insufficient for expressing the importance of a child’s homecoming.”
I’m not overly fond of the term myself. I prefer to use “adoption day,” because in our family, that term best describes what happened. While we’re thrilled that we were able to welcome our children into our family via adoption, we don’t see the need to make a big deal about adoption one particular day of the year.
What about you, readers? Do you celebrate a special day? If so, what do you call it? If you don’t celebrate, why not?
Additional information about Gotcha Day:
The History Behind Gotcha Day
Ways to Celebrate Gotcha Day
Photo credit: Kevin Rohr
We won’t use the term “Gotcha” but I in know way take issue with it. Every day I look at my daughter I tell her “Daddy’s got you (Gotcha) and I’ll never let you go!” Mia looks over to her mom and says “Mommy! Daddy got me!”
I remember the day the lady looked at us at 8:32 in the morning and said “Mr. and Mrs. Mummau, this completes your adoption…congratulations.” This coming after 14 months of separation from my wife while she fostered our baby in Guatemala brought a flood of emotion. It is a landmark in our life and one we feel is worth celebrating albeit privately a celebration nonetheless.
For everyone I guess it is different but I certainly wouldn’t fault someone for use of a term if it conveys to them their protection and love of their child. By the way, we call the day “Mia Day” and it is March 31.
Great thought provoking post!
“Gotcha Day?” Now how did that one get past me? I’ve never even heard of it. How could that be? Be careful, if the greeting card industry ever gets hold of that, it will become a circus.
Clearly, this is not something we celebrate in our family. We took pictures the day our daughters’ adoptions were finalized, but, through a number of SNAFUS that was almost two YEARS after we originally “gotem” (get it?) and by then they were well entrenched into our family.
We do however celebrate all three of our kids grand splash into our lives twice a year. On, ummm, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
In our house, it’s each kid’s “Family Day” to celebrate the event of adding to the family.
We celebrate my son’s “Arrival Day” as a special day and not a gift day. Last year we went to the zoo. I’m not sure what we’ll do this year. I took the day off though.
Personally, as an adoptee, I don’t like the term “gotcha” either. I’m not sure if it’s because it makes the day seem a little silly or if it just insults my English grammer training (English minor).
I’ve heard of the “Gotcha Day” phenomenon as well, and find it pretty objectionable for all the reasons stated above. I would really prefer “Adoption Day” although I don’t know. I didn’t know what day I arrived in my home until I was in my twenties. The discrepancy between my birthday and the actual arrival day was a troubling one. We only ever celebrated my birthday when I was growing up, and I think I probably would not have liked to bring attention to an Adoption Day, or a “Gotcha” day.
Oh, I always liked “Gotcha” in the sense of a prank, like “Hey, there, little baby! We’re the strangers with big noses come to take you away from everything you’ve ever known! GOTCHA!”
We, uh, don’t really use the term around our house either. We met my daughter on December 22, and her birthday’s on the 27th, so, well, we have a full enough Christmas season already.