Julia recently posed a dilemma she is facing with her daughter in this article. It’s a difficult issue, since as Christian parents our duty is to raise our children in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

We began by addressing the role of belief and repentance, in Part One of our series. In Part Two, we looked at confession and baptism.

But Julia touched on another important point: Can one be lost after being saved? The Scripture addresses this through the story of Simon the Sorcerer:

But there was a certain man called Simon, who previously practiced sorcery in the city and astonished the people of Samaria, claiming that he was someone great, to whom they all gave heed, from the least to the greatest, saying, “This man is the great power of God.” And they heeded him because he had astonished them with his sorceries for a long time. But when they believed Philip as he preached the things concerning the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, both men and women were baptized. Then Simon himself also believed; and when he was baptized he continued with Philip, and was amazed, seeing the miracles and signs which were done.

So Simon was baptized, thus saved from his former sins. But note what immediately follows:

Now when the apostles who were at Jerusalem heard that Samaria had received the word of God, they sent Peter and John to them, who, when they had come down, prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit. For as yet He had fallen upon none of them. They had only been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. Then they laid hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit. And when Simon saw that through the laying on of the apostles’ hands the Holy Spirit was given, he offered them money, saying, “Give me this power also, that anyone on whom I lay hands may receive the Holy Spirit.” But Peter said to him, “Your money perish with you, because you thought that the gift of God could be purchased with money! You have neither part nor portion in this matter, for your heart is not right in the sight of God. Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are poisoned by bitterness and bound by iniquity.” Then Simon answered and said, “Pray to the Lord for me, that none of the things which you have spoken may come upon me.”

Peter urges Simon to repent and pray so that he could be restored to a right relationship with God. If he were “once saved, always saved” why would he need to repent or pray? Something else was needed to bring him back into favor with God.

2 Peter chapter 2 addresses this topic as well:

For if, after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning. For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them. But it has happened to them according to the true proverb: “A dog returns to his own vomit,” and, “a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in the mire.”

This indicates a person who has been saved (has "escaped the pollutions of the world") can become "entangled" in them again, and this is "worse" for the person ... why? Because they are lost after tasting salvation by turning from the commandments taught to them, and returning to actively sinning (as opposed to making a mistake while still striving to please God).

How can we help our believing children if they are in such a state?:

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted (Galatians 6:1).

To be "overtaken" means to be immersed in sin. The Scripture states this person needs to be "restored." Restoration implies a deviation from the normal state. Thus, if we were saved, being overtaken in sin disrupted that state, and we need something to bring us back into that state. Further, the text states how that happens - we must correct our children in a spirit of love, because we truly want them to be in a right relationship with God. As frustrating as it may be, and as much as we may want to ensure that they do right, we can't make them unless they are willing, and the key here is love.

Thus, after baptism, believers must live a faithful life of service.

Matthew 24:13: Jesus said, "But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved."

After becoming obedient to the will of God, we must continue a life of service to the end of our lives!

Romans 2:7: “To those who by perseverance in doing good seek for glory and honor and immortality, eternal life."

Perseverance means to endure...to continue. If we continue to do good after satisfying the conditions for salvation, we can have the hope of living with God eternally.

James 1:12: Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him..."

Again, perseverance – endurance – is listed as necessary for obtaining eternal life. We can’t stop or give up ... we must press on!

Perfect people? Hardly. But we know that God will forgive us:

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (I John 1:9)

My oldest son has, of his own volition, expressed a desire to become a Christian. He is only nine, and does not completely understand all the nuances between right and wrong. Though, each day, he understands more and more. So we talk a lot, pray a lot, and read a lot. Hopefully, by going to the Scriptures with your child, you will have a better understanding of what they know and understand, and what they don’t, in helping them to determine if they are mature enough to enter into a relationship with God on their own.

If they have already done these things and are struggling, the verse that gives me most comfort (considering my own ADD and mental health issues!) is the verse that states:

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).

This verse tells me that God knows the abilities and limitations of those trying to follow Him and whether they have the requisite capacity to understand.

So even though it may be difficult to truly “know” whether or not our children are saved, our gracious God has provided, through His word, a means of being able to know what is required of us, and thus, we can measure whether we have done those things or not.

Hopefully, through this series, we’ve provided some food for thought in training our children; assessing their ability to comprehend the Scriptures; and a way of easing our own minds as we go about trying to help our children establish and maintain their own individual relationship with God!

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