Christian Adoption, Faith Based Adoption Blog - Consider Asking Your Adopted Daughter to Sign a Purity Contract

Christian Adoption Blog

09/03/07

Consider Asking Your Adopted Daughter to Sign a Purity Contract

Posted by : Julia Fuller in Christian Adoption Blog at 06:17 am , 618 words, 390 views
Categories: Values

Have you thought about your daughter’s purity? Don’t wait until it is time to begin dating to discuss the subject, as uncomfortable as it may be. Don’t just assume your daughter will know what to do in a pressure situation, if you haven’t helped her to plan her actions. This can be especially important if your daughter was exposed to questionable activities prior to her adoption.

My sisters-in-the-Lord threw a book shower for Amigrace when we brought her home. One of the books we received was The Princess and the Kiss, by Jennie Bishop. My friend said that she and her husband had used this book to introduce the subject to their young daughters. I’ve already read the book to my daughters and will continue to do so, periodically as it introduces the subject in a beautiful way.

Some of the women at our church have taken their daughters on a Family Life suggested passport 2 purity weekend when they reach 12 or 13. They use the weekend getaway as a special time of bonding and transition. They come home with a purity contract.

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When my daughter turned 13, I explained to her what a purity contract was. I asked her if she was interested in signing one. When she said that she was, we purchased a promise ring for her to wear as a reminder and went out to dinner. Then we printed the contract, Super Dad, my daughter, and I all signed it, then we framed it and hung it in her room.

Below is an example of the one we printed, however, you could modify it. Help your daughter to understand that she is a precious gift from God. Tell her that not all men will treat her that way and that she needs to be prepared. Make sure she understands that you will come and get her if she finds herself in a situation and needs a way out.

PURITY CONTRACT

My body is a precious gift. God gave me my body pure and untouched. I will strive to maintain this purity by keeping myself safe from harm. I will not give away the gift of my body until I have pledged my loved before God and witnesses in marriage. If I have given away my gift already I know that God forgives and I pledge to return to the ways of purity I had before I gave myself. I will take impure thoughts captive immediately and give them to Christ instead of indulging in them. I will live for Christ, loving Him first and foremost. I will keep my body, my thoughts, and my actions safe and focused on Jesus. I will not lust after others, fantasize about them, nor allow myself to be intimate with others. I pledge my heart and body to Christ to watch over until I am married.

Acknowledging that God has made me in His Image, made my body to be His Temple, and has graciously saved me and removed me from my sin, it is my desire to please Him.
From this day forward, I, ___________________________, vow before God and witnesses, in obedience to God's Word, to keep myself chaste and pure, to give myself totally and only to the mate that God is preparing for me.

May this pledge I make today, __________________, 200___, honor You God, and bring glory to Your Son Jesus Christ. Amen."

____________________
Signature of Vower

____________________
Signature of Witness #1

____________________
Signature of Witness #2

Read more on older child adoption

Photo Credit
Princess & the Kiss: A Story of God's Gift of Purity by Jennie Bishop (Hardcover - Jul 2000)

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4 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: John [Member]

Hi Julia, I have two questions. First, what about the guilt the child will feel if they sign and cannot keep their commitment? Every kid I brought home had a large helping of thinking they were bad and unworthy. Making and then failing to keep such a huge commitment would load a heap of guilt and self doubt wouldn't it? If the statistics are right, 'normal' kids frequently would fail this test. Wouldn't it be more appropriate to make a commitment to 'try' to remain chaste to the best of their ablity?

The second question is why does this only apply to daughters? It does take two to tango. Having raised only boys, I can say that teenage boys and chaste are not an automatic fit. John

Permalink 09/03/07 @ 18:16

Comment from: Julia Fuller [Member]

· http://special-needs.adoptionblogs.com/

Hi John, I was thinking as I wrote it that you could also ask your sons, but what would you give them instead of a promise ring?
I prefer setting the standard high, so a failure might look like a kiss, instead of something else. A might, or I'll try isn't really a commitment.
They can also agree if they've already stepped over the line, but don't want to do it again.
The F.D. that just turned 18 and went back to mom didn't want to sign one. She had no intention of stopping her activity. That was her choice.
I don't force the decision on them, it is theirs to make. Hopefully, a mind set made in advance will work. If nothing else, it may delay the inevitable with some of our older adopted children, until after they graduate:-)

Permalink 09/03/07 @ 18:55

Comment from: Sunbonnet Sue [Member]

We've had each of our children sign a purity contract around age 12ish, one girl and three boys so far. One boy left to go, he turns 11 in November, so his time is near. We do not give them anything like a ring, just an open discussion of the issues. At this point, our children have all remained chaste. What seems to have the biggest impact on them is the part where the emotional impact of physical intimacy is discussed. They can all somehow identify the need to have an exclusive bond and attachment to their one life partner. Religious and disease issues are important, but more abstract. The closest we had was our boy who graduated high school in May. He has a serious girl, he's really sweet on her. They wanted prom night to be special, and were afraid they would lose control. He spoke to his Dad and me about it. We set up some safety plans for the kids, but also told him it was fine with us if he wanted to marry this girl. They had a great evening, and made good choices. whew!

Permalink 09/03/07 @ 19:17

Comment from: Julia Fuller [Member]

· http://special-needs.adoptionblogs.com/

Keep up the Great Job Sunbonnet Sue! Sounds like you are raising some responsible children who know how to communicate.

Permalink 09/04/07 @ 16:46

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