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As we saw in an earlier post, we are to have agape love, the kind of love that seeks a person’s best interests. Open adoptions are one way to do this for our children. Let’s look at another biblical word that helps bring this concept out: storgē.
Storgē is used sparingly in the Bible, and is the word meaning the love of family.
I choose to view open adoption as “inheriting” a whole new set of relatives in a very short amount of time. Though in reality, these are my children’s relatives, they have now become my family, too. I refer to them as my children do, so as not to confuse the kids, and to hold their family members in the place of respect due their positions.
I believe that how you view open adoption, how you communicate open adoption, and how you view this “family by extension” will be how your children will view it. If you are positive, it will go a long way toward their healing. Further, it can broker peace between a child’s recollections of the past (in older child adoptions) and a future relationship with members of his or her birthfamily. These extended family members can also provide crucial information for those dreaded “gaps”: medical histories, family tree assignments, etc.
Above all, remember that agape love is keeping your child’s best interests at heart. Agape also includes loving your child’s birthfamily with a storgē love, too. Go the extra mile, as Christ commanded in Matthew 5:41. Follow the “Golden Rule” in your pursuit of an open adoption.
Deb Donatti has posted some wonderful resources for families in open adoptions. Other resources include:
The Adoption Guide
Open Adoption from A Birthmother’s Viewpoint
I really like this post. Thanks.
Thank you!