I was reading an interesting article in a parenting periodical today at the doctor's office. It was a lighthearted look at chores. Behind the humor was a real issue I think many parents grapple with.

When my family moved into this house a year ago, I made an observation about all of the houses on our block - all of the cars park in the driveway, not the garage. When you see the neighbors with the garage door up, all you see inside are boxes. Most people, including our family, use their garage space as storage spaces. Our society at large has so much stuff we don't have adequate space to store it all. In fact, I doubt we use most of the stuff we have, seeing that much of it sits in boxes in a garage!

Sadly, we've somehow communicated this "love of stuff" to our kids. They have rooms packed to the rafters with gadgets, games and toys, and are constantly asking for more based on what the television tells them they "need."

As an only child growing up, I was "compensated" for the lack of siblings. I had every toy imaginable and a huge "toy room" to put them in. My oldest son, for nine years of his life, was also an only child. He, too, reaped the benefit of that, since we felt badly that he didn't have playmates. Now that we've adopted, the temptation is to give your children everything to "make up" for all you assume they did not have.

This leads to a dreadful disease - "gimme-itis" and it's companion, "lack of appreciation."

The kids play and play with their toys, yet complain when merely asked to clean up afterward. In a previous article, I discussed the role of developmentally appropriate practice in creating spaces for children. Each of my children have labeled bins for their toys and clothing, thus making it easier for them to keep track of their things, and manage them as their areas of responsibility. This has proven to be an issue for all of them, as they put things in the bins willy-nilly despite their labels "just to be done".

Though I have had the children help me with the actual doing of the laundry as appropriate consequences for some of their poor choices, I do have all of the children put away all of their clothing themselves (the youngest is almost five, and he doesn't have to fold (though he has the ability to, it isn't asked of him)).

My daughter constantly asks to help me, and states that she wants to be "just like" me, yet after about five minutes of being "like me" she's bored! True, it's a typical kid thing, but tonight, her older brother helped her put it in context. I've often told the kids how we are a team, and that everyone has to pitch in and do their part to make the team successful. My son reiterated this tonight with his sister and enumerated all the things Mommy does for her. He then helped her with her room, and later she came to thank me for all the things I did for her today. This was a big step for her, and for her older brother and I was really proud of them both!

So, though we are still working on the chore issue, I do know that kids are kids, and making the mess is fun - the cleaning up, not so much! I also know that as a parent, I have helped contribute to this by allowing so many toys and trying to compensate for so many things, when I should have been building in the gratitude and the work ethic needed to maintain their belongings. Further, I need to model restraint in "gimme-itis" and help my children appreciate the simpler things in life, while helping them to realize all good gifts come from God (James 1:17).

Photo credit: Marie Stroughter