“Be angry; and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger" (Ephesians 4:26)

This verse tells us two important things – first off, God gives us permission to be angry at times! However, and secondly, there is a caveat – there is a way to express that anger that spills over into sinful activity. So, what are the "danger signs?"

For some answers, let’s look at 1 Corinthians (the “Love Chapter”):

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; (1 Corinthians 13:4-6)

These verses point out some key areas that we tend to violate when we are angry:

Arrogance: We are so sure we are right, that we don’t listen to the other person. In fact, we get so caught up in being right, that it becomes more important than ensuring you have heard where the other person in coming from, or that you’ve even heard them correctly. I know in my own life, what someone says and what I hear, aren’t always the same things!

Acting “becomingly”: The dictionary defines becomingly as, “suitable; appropriate; proper”, or as some people colorfully put it, “acting ugly”. You can differ without resorting to name calling, rudeness, yelling, stamping feet, or throwing things!

Having your own agenda: The Scripture says not to “seek [your] own.” Sure you have a perspective that you’d like to get across – that’s not the problem. The problem is when getting that agenda across means more than offering basic courtesies or not even caring if the thing gets resolved, as long as your issue gets heard!

Provocation: This is the biggest troublemaker! You know how to hit the other person’s “hot buttons” and you do it just for spite, because you know you can! It’s taking unfair advantage, and being hurtful.

Keeping track: This says, “does not take into account a wrong suffered …” Do you keep track? Do you bring up “old” resolved stuff? Not fair! And, definitely prohibited!

Rejoicing in wrongs: If you push the other person’s “hot button” and they get torqued, are you happy they’ve lost it? Get a big smug and judgmental, do ya? (Game show buzzer sound effect) Wrong!

Galatians gives us further insight, when it catalogs the “sins of the flesh”:

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:19-23, NIV)

Those middle verses are all about anger! “hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions …” Did you notice that they are up there with what we consider to be “The Big Sins?” In God’s sight, all sin separates us from Him, whether it’s a “white lie” or adultery. It’s all big to Him.

Our text in Ephesians gives us one more tip: Take care of the issue in a timely manner ("don't let the sun go down on your wrath"). Don't nurse and prolong a grudge. Deal with it and move along.

So, the next time you want to rip into your kid, spouse, co-worker, newspaper delivery guy … whoever … “think on these things” (Philippians 4:8) and stay tuned for how to be angry God’s way.

All verses taken from the New American Standard (NASB) version, unless otherwise noted.