Part 4 of 4

Part 1: Book Review: Adoption as a Ministry, Adoption as a Blessing by Michelle Gardner

Part 2: When Your Spouse is Reluctant to Adopt

Part 3: What to Say When People Ask Why You're Adopting Internationally

Perhaps you have teenaged or grown children and then you decide to adopt. You tell someone you’re considering adopting a child and they say:

• You’re cheating your other children by investing your time and money into adoption.



• You’ve already raised your children; it’s time to take it easy.



• You’ve done your part; don’t stretch yourself too thin.

Michelle Gardner responds: “A family undertaking a major ministry challenge needs support and encouragement, not criticism.”

Gardner tells about the time some friends who tried to adopt a 6-year-old girl who’d been abused sexually and through cultic rituals.

“Although a few members of the church body rallied around the family and offered them support, the majority of the congregation seemed to see the child as ‘damaged goods.’ Rather than standing behind the family and supporting them, many had the attitude of ‘You made your own choice, now live with it.’”

Gardner explains that the general attitude of the church body toward adoption will do much to determine the degree to which families are willing to risk taking such a major step. “We need to see children as blessings rather than liabilities,” she writes.

Gardner outlines several ways in which the church body can minister to families who are adopting:

Designate a special quarterly offering for an adoption assistance fund.

Loan an adoptive family funds, to be repaid when the family receives its Federal Adoption Tax Credit refund.

Provide grants to families adopting children with special needs.

Express an interest in the status of pending adoptions of families from your church. Pray for all the details.

When an adopting family travels to bring home their child, offer to provide child care (if they have additional children at home); to drive children to sports practices and music lessons; to feed pets; or to provide meals for the family.

The children in the child’s Sunday school class can host a ‘welcome’ event for the adopted child.

Be a special friend to an adopted child. You don’t have to adopt a child yourself, but you can still have a major influence on a child’s life by being ‘there’ for him or her.

Provide respite care to families with high needs children.