As I mentioned yesterday, I read this book again as an adoptive parent of traumatized children looking for insight. I’d like to share an excerpt with you that reminded me of the emptiness that some of my adopted children experience. My children who were traumatized before their adoptions into our family. Believing that there is a higher authority can help our traumatized adopted children begin to heal. It is funny how a story can have a different meaning to us depending where we are in life at the time we hear or read the story. In chapter four, the shepherd is... more

Last night, I decided to reread “a shepherd looks at PSALM 23,” by Phillip Keller from an adoptive parent of traumatized children perspective. Funny, how each time we read a story we pick up something new, depending on where we are in life. I’d like to share an excerpt with you that reminded me of the dynamics in my family, particularly of my adopted children who were previously traumatized.

In chapter three, the shepherd is explaining the strange behavior of his flock. This chapter is based on part of verse two, “He maketh me to lie down in green pastures…”... more

It's been over a week since you have heard from me, and what a week it has been! In the wee hours of the morning last Monday, my oldest climbed into bed with us complaining of headache. He felt warm to the touch as well. We kept him fairly well quarantined from the other children for the day, and thought nothing more of it than perhaps it was some strain his flu shot didn't catch. However, as the day wore on, his temperature began climbing, but then would seem to go back down rapidly. Due to his Type... more

After 14 years of parenting special needs children, I have finally been convinced to change my approach to parenting. I am unfortunately a bit on the stubborn side, or I would have changed sooner. Certainly my adopted children with special needs, specifically those fetal alcohol effect, would have appreciated it if I had changed sooner. Because I had already been parenting for 11 years when we began to foster children and adopt I thought I knew how to parent. My techniques worked well with children who had not been subjected to early trauma, drugs, or alcohol.

I am one... more

If you’ve followed the Pee Papers, my chronicles of our recent issues with my six-year-old, you’ll know that we’ve implemented some new strategies.

We are on Night 3, Day 2 of “The Solution” and it has restored balance to our home. No stress. No fuss. No consequences. And, though we’ve said all along we’re not... more

Debbie is my mom’s best friend, and, as I was growing up, she was my second mom. The cool mom - the one you would go to when talking to your own mom would be completely mortifying. She is also the Kid Whisperer. Babies love her. Toddlers love her. Kids and grown-ups all love her. And, fortunately for me, she also has a background in Early Childhood Education. I know I often trot out that I, too, have this background, somehow, with Deb, it’s all different. She puts Nanny 911 and all those other shows to shame.

Debbie is kind enough to drive my non-driving... more

If you have been following my pee saga closely, you will have heard the various positions parents in the trenches have taken on this issue. Now let’s hear from those who have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

As I mentioned over on the Adoptive Parenting blog earlier this week, I’ve found an online support group for sufferers of PTSD. They have graciously allowed me to be a part of their group,... more

Thanks to all who have chimed in on the pee issue. But, I do feel I need to clarify a few points:

• There are 2 types of peeing going on – voluntary and involuntary. The involuntary we are ignoring (nighttime while sleeping, true accidents, etc.). It is the voluntary we are addressing. How do I know the difference? My daughter will sit in front of the TV or while playing and finishes up, rather than go to the restroom, and is able to articulate that... more

The Pee-Pee Saga continues. We’ve shown love and mercy, and overlooked it. We’ve tied consequences directly to the action and had her do her own laundry. We’ve taken away privileges. Today, I took away all her “fancy clothes” because she soils them. Still, no matter the outcome, pleasant or not, it’s the same result – she pees.

We’re not being inconsistent; we’re just trying to find an equitable solution. I have asthma and the urine smell triggers me.

She admits this is done purposely.... more

I’ve chronicled some of the issues we’ve faced in dealing with my daughter’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) diagnosis and the extreme insomnia she has because of it.

Who knew the solution could be as simple as it turned out to be: Let her sleep with her door open! Initially, due to some of the inappropriate “acting... more