Lately I’ve written quite a bit about the role of traditions and rituals in the lives of adoptive families. One that I’ve not discussed yet in any depth is the family dinner table.

Though my husband has a flexible schedule, and the kids probably see him more than most children are able to see their fathers during the day, we still look forward to the dinner table as the time when we can all be together to discuss our day.

Manners Training: The family table is a great place to practice and model manners.

Teamwork: Setting and clearing... more

My daughter has been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In her weekly therapy sessions, she does a fair amount of play therapy. But lately, the California redwoods have been endangered by the copious amounts of paper she’s using to flood us with drawings! She is quite the little artiste.

Because my background is in Early Childhood Education, I’ve viewed her artwork with a deeper eye toward seeing anything that might be in them that is relevant. I also mentioned this recent proliferation of artwork to her therapist. I suppose the conversation took root, because after his latest session... more

Our adopted children are new to the state of California. Tonight we had an earthquake measuring 5.6 on the Richter scale. The southern half of our state is being ravaged by wildfires. These are new experiences for our kids.

The earthquake hit a little after 8:00 p.m. local time. Our house, built in the 1950’s began to shake, rock and roll. It was a longish earthquake as these things go – I’m a native Californian and I’ve lived through a few to know – and it went through several phases. There was an initial jolt, then shaking, then the house began rolling – a feeling like you were on a surfboard for the first time.

Fortunately, there was no damage to our home or property.... more

Before the adoption was finalized, the kids knew all about our cat. We’d sent pictures of her to them, and created a page in our family scrapbook just for her. They often asked about her, and by the time we were ready to bring them home, they were in love with her. Great, right?

Not so fast!

They loved her, but she was not prepared for them. She didn’t get that the pictures of the children on our refrigerator would soon be romping through the house. She didn’t realize she would be sharing space with two more children. She had no clue she would not have as... more

If you are the parent of a child with special needs (medical or behavioral), then you have most likely, at one time or another, had to deal with them during church services.

My oldest son has Type 1 diabetes, and when his blood sugar is very high, he needs to use the restroom frequently, in addition to needing to drink from the water fountain. My daughter has elimination issues in addition to behavioral issues, both of which require frequent trips out of the auditorium.

How do you deal with these issues without being a huge distraction, and ensuring that you get some worship time in as well?

Communicate: When we moved to this area and placed membership at the congregation... more

In a previous article, I discussed the benefits of establishing and maintaining traditions and rituals. That article focused mainly on holidays, though it did discuss other aspects. Now, I’d like to talk about more of the everyday “rhythms” of family life that lend themselves to traditions and rituals.

Growing up, every Saturday morning, I woke up to pancakes! I loved that ritual, and when my great-aunt (the pancake maker, and originator of the ritual) passed away, every Saturday was bittersweet for me.

So, now that... more

My youngest son gravitates toward men. He’ll just pal up to a new male friend as though it were nothing. In fact, I worried initially that maybe these were ominous signs of an attachment disorder, because it seemed so indiscriminate to me. In the whole time I have known him (which admittedly has not been long), I have only seen him really snuggle up and love one woman (his foster mom), though he was pretty close with his social worker, too (just not lovey-dovey snuggly-like).

In fact, when we first met face-to-face after months of talking on the phone and letters, he did hug me – and, yeah, that was pretty much it. He was absolutely head-over-heels in love with hubby and my oldest... more

I added a new word to my vocabulary today: encopresis. In brief, encopresis can be either voluntary or involuntary bowel movements at an age when developmentally it is expected that children can contain them. Involuntary encopresis has an organic cause such as precipitating constipation. The hard fecal matter was not expelled while constipated, and comes out involuntarily at such a time when the bowel regulates once again. Voluntary encopresis typifies some sort of internal or external emotional struggle and is often found in children with mental health issues such as Oppositional... more

I am a firm believer that Christian parents should be the first to discuss sexual matters with their children. Children will pick up this information in one way or another, and I believe it is best they hear the Christian perspective on the beautiful gifts sex and our bodies are, before they hear it from the world and the spin they put on it.

Having said that, I also believe there is a time and a place for it. Often, the conversation is “forced” to appear before the parent is ready because our children were exposed to something inappropriate on television, or because the child’s friend tells them something that they then check out with us, as parents. Sometimes, sadly, we talk about... more

Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind. He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God. For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord's. (Romans 14:4-8)

In... more