There is theory that the longer you have your pet, the more they begin to look like you. Now, I’m not comparing adopted children to pets, but it is interesting how your kids begin to take on your characteristics!

Lately I’ve noticed some of the silly made up expressions I use, coming out of the mouths of my children! They rock out to the music of my favorite 70’s band, and they have a love for my husband’s favorite band, as well.

The kids mimic their older brother, both intentionally and not. They have some of his same facial expressions, and ours as well. At first, it was difficult for my oldest son - who, for nine whole years had been an only child – to grasp the concept... more

Lately I’ve written quite a bit about the role of traditions and rituals in the lives of adoptive families. One that I’ve not discussed yet in any depth is the family dinner table.

Though my husband has a flexible schedule, and the kids probably see him more than most children are able to see their fathers during the day, we still look forward to the dinner table as the time when we can all be together to discuss our day.

Manners Training: The family table is a great place to practice and model manners.

Teamwork: Setting and clearing... more

Before the adoption was finalized, the kids knew all about our cat. We’d sent pictures of her to them, and created a page in our family scrapbook just for her. They often asked about her, and by the time we were ready to bring them home, they were in love with her. Great, right?

Not so fast!

They loved her, but she was not prepared for them. She didn’t get that the pictures of the children on our refrigerator would soon be romping through the house. She didn’t realize she would be sharing space with two more children. She had no clue she would not have as... more

In a previous article, I discussed the benefits of establishing and maintaining traditions and rituals. That article focused mainly on holidays, though it did discuss other aspects. Now, I’d like to talk about more of the everyday “rhythms” of family life that lend themselves to traditions and rituals.

Growing up, every Saturday morning, I woke up to pancakes! I loved that ritual, and when my great-aunt (the pancake maker, and originator of the ritual) passed away, every Saturday was bittersweet for me.

So, now that... more

My youngest son gravitates toward men. He’ll just pal up to a new male friend as though it were nothing. In fact, I worried initially that maybe these were ominous signs of an attachment disorder, because it seemed so indiscriminate to me. In the whole time I have known him (which admittedly has not been long), I have only seen him really snuggle up and love one woman (his foster mom), though he was pretty close with his social worker, too (just not lovey-dovey snuggly-like).

In fact, when we first met face-to-face after months of talking on the phone and letters, he did hug me – and, yeah, that was pretty much it. He was absolutely head-over-heels in love with hubby and my oldest... more

I’m not the size 4 I was when I married. But, I’m just not a gym-y person, though I’ve tried. I’ve done the “weight-loss” meetings thing, too. I’m not a morning person, and by nighttime, I’m too pooped to go out walking or to a meeting or whatever, especially without my family. So, tonight, we rolled out an idea we’ve been kicking around for awhile: Family Dance Party!

We chose a Friday Night to roll it out because the kids get to stay up a little later than usual due to no school or church the next morning. Friday Night is usually movie night or some special treat, thus the night all the kids look forward to!

The kids love to have “dance competitions,” which are really free-for-all... more

I designed our adoption announcements somewhere around the beginning of the year – long before the children arrived. Of course, they weren’t truly finished because I needed the finalization date to plug into the cards! So, here it is, two months post-adoption and I’m just getting around to it – and not in the way I had planned.

Yes, life with three has derailed me a bit, and I’m still slightly off balance keeping up with homeschooling, outside classes and medical appointments. It hasn’t left me with a lot of time to be as creative as I would like!

That said,... more

From the time my biological son was old enough to talk, he’s known about the word “consequences.” When we make good choices, there are often positive consequences; and when we make poor choices, there will be negative consequences.

Lately, I’ve been struggling to find the balance for appropriate negative consequences. Rewards are fairly easy to hand out. But meaningful negative consequences, particularly for children who have suffered trauma, take some thought.

My daughter is six, and as I have mentioned, has control issues that manifest themselves in the area... more

Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8)

The last six weeks have been a whirlwind. We’ve dealt with transition issues, medical issues, psychological issues, behavioral issues – you name it. It’s been a period of intense and rapid change, not unlike the period of time following the birth of a child. But we’re here. We’ve managed. By God’s grace, we’re rounding a corner.

This past week in particular, both children have made great strides. Our son is doing less hitting, and using words to express his feelings. When he does receive a consequence for his... more

Depending upon the agency you choose for your adoption, you may be required to undergo post-placement visits. Our agency requires two visits, and we had our first one today.

Post-placement visits are intended to assess how well both the adopted children and the adoptive parents are adjusting to their new family life. Because the goal is framed as a positive one – to keep families together and avoid disruptions – your social worker is a valuable resource.

Our social worker found that things were progressing amazingly well for only four weeks at home. She was pleased that we had already put so many things into place already and accessed many needed services: the children have... more