Part 3 of 4 Continued from the previous posts Please acquaint yourself with the details of this case by reading the first two posts in this series: Court Case Illustrates Problems with Independent Adoption The Kilmer Adoption Case, Part 2

This story troubles me on several levels I’m bothered that a California adoption facilitator would move a woman from Florida to an Iowa apartment. It strongly reminds me of the maternity... more

Continued from the previous post, "Court Case Illustrates Problems with Independent Adoption" Doubts surface Christine Kilmer recounts that she had private doubts about following through with her adoption plan during the first two days after giving birth, but she didn’t say anything because she thought her feelings would go away. Hours before she was scheduled to sign the relinquishment papers, Kilmer opted to parent her baby.

According to Kilmer, the attorneys for the adoptive parents urged her to reconsider her decision, and when she refused, she was... more

Part 1 of 4 Good Intentions Gone Awry A couple of weeks ago a series in The Waterloo/Cedar Falls (Iowa) Courier detailed the story of a potential adoption gone sour. The story, reported by Dan Gearino, brings up some of the issues that plague the U.S. independent adoption system.

In this four-part series, I’ll summarize the story and I’ll reflect on several of the concerns that it raises about independent or private adoption.

Here’s a recap of the story: Christine Kilmer, 41, of Florida, panicked when she learned... more

Whose version of ‘respectful adoption language’ should we use? Continued from previous post

In my last post, I introduced some of the adoption terminology used by different “camps,” particularly the phrases that describe a woman who gives birth to a baby that she relinquishes for adoption.

But what about those who adopt a child? What should we call them?

"Adoptive Parents" Adoption advocates call them “adoptive families” or “adoptive parent” when a situation warrants identifying them... more

Part 1

When a woman relinquishes parental rights to her child, what do we call it?

The media most often trumpets that she “puts the baby up for adoption” or “gives up the baby for adoption.”

Those who call themselves “pro-family” (aka, those who are against adoption) usually call this act “losing the baby.”

Those in the pro-adoption camp use the terms, “place for adoption” or “make an adoption plan.”

It seems we can’t please anybody these days with our choices of what language to use to describe adoption.

For... more

There are oodles of creative ways to finance an adoption, but here’s a crass new one:

A soon-to-be bride wrote Miss Manners (Judith Martin), asking whether it would be appropriate for her and her fiancée to request donations (in lieu of wedding gifts) toward the cost of adopting a child from Guatemala.

The couple lives together in a house and claim they don’t need or want toasters or china. The adoption agencies they’ve contacted have suggested setting up a foundation through which they could solicit donations from friends and family.

Do you even have... more

And Tango Makes Three, a book targeted at pre-schoolers through grade 3, has been moved from the children's section to the nonfiction section of two Missouri public libraries. Why? Because parents complained it has homosexual undertones.

The book, by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson, is based on the true story of two male penguins who adopted an abandoned egg at New York City's Central Park Zoo in the late 1990s.

Gay penguins?... more

My son's adoption day was March 1 (actually February 29, but since there was no February 29 this year, we celebrated it March 1).

What do we do to celebrate his adoption day? Nothing, really. We announce, “Today’s your adoption day…whoo hoo!” And that’s about it. Probably because his adoption day occurs only two days after his birthday. And we do celebrate his birthday.

For some families, adoption day is a big deal. For children who have been waiting in foster homes or orphanages, I imagine that adoption day might be quite an important... more

Jesus loves the little children, All the children of the world. Red, brown, yellow, black and white, They are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world.

This song has always caused me some consternation because, as a child, I wondered what a "red" person looked like. I've never seen a "red" person, with the exception of sunburned bodies. Seems more as if most of the children of the world are varying shades of brown.

Crayola... more